Relationship advice

Newlywed couples

Congrats Newlyweds! As your wedding celebrations come to an end, you might be asking yourselves some questions on topics like combining finances, navigating post-wedding blues (it's a thing!) or buying a house and preparing to start a family. Find expert marriage advice to guide you through the start of your forever and beyond.

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All Newlywed couples articles

Most Important Things in a Relationship
Relationship advice

18 Things That Are Important In a Relationship

What are the most important things in a long, healthy relationship? Read on to find out now.

Mixed race bride and groom looking at each other lovingly on their big day
Relationship advice

20 Best Marriage Advice Tips from Experts and Old Couples

We spoke with a marriage therapist and couples about their best marriage advice for engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples celebrating another year of marriage.

newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony
Relationship advice

10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed

From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time.

Zola
Relationship advice

90 Newlywed Game Questions + How to Play

Discover the fun of the Newlywed Game! Learn about this hilarious couples' quiz and explore 90 fun question ideas to spark laughter and connection.

wedding memory book
Relationship advice

What's a Wedding Memory Book?

What’s a wedding memory book, and why do you need one? Here, we answer these important questions for newlyweds.

couple getting married
Relationship advice

Post-Wedding Blues Are Real—Here's 5 Ways to Beat Them

When the wedding planning and the wedding come to an end, many couples experience post-wedding blues. Here, an expert shares tips for finding happiness after your big day and moving past the post-wedding blues

Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes
Relationship advice

How to Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes

Wedding album planning just became a whole lot easier with Zola’s Album Wizard.

newlyweds move in together
Relationship advice

7 Tips for Moving in Together After Marriage

If you’ve never lived together before marriage, moving in can be an adjustment. Here are expert tips on how to communicate, set boundaries, and enjoy your newlywed home.

Couple In the Rain Wedding First Car
Relationship advice

5 Tips For Newlyweds Buying Their First Car

Your little coupe or well-traveled truck might have been perfect for your single life. But after you say “I do,” you and your partner might be ready for a car that fits both your needs—and your future family’s, too.

Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes
Relationship advice

Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes

Ready to put your wedding photos in an album? Here are the most popular wedding album sizes for couples, as well as factors that can determine which wedding album size you choose.

Celebrate Your Engagement Through a Breakup
Relationship advice

How To Celebrate Your Engagement When Someone Is Going Through a Breakup

Getting engaged is a joyful time, but it can be hard to fully experience that joy when someone you love is going through a breakup. Here are some of our tips to help you through it.

Modern Bathroom newlywed family insurance finances
Relationship advice

How to Buy Renters Insurance

You can get renters insurance entirely without speaking to anyone else: Some insurers automate the whole process through an app or website.

Find even more wedding ideas, inspo, tips, and tricks

We’ve got wedding planning advice on everything from save the dates to wedding cakes.

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\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n \n ","subtopicPage":{"articles":[{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"what-are-the-5-most-important-things-in-a-relationship","title":"18 Things That Are Important In a Relationship","excerpt":"What are the most important things in a long, healthy relationship? Read on to find out now. ","author":"McCall Minnor","publishedAt":"2020-12-21T23:02:03.186Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2tRMjQG9NUdJdwEjUjdprR/76dcb8f489b13a16d5ff396dc6fcad62/18-Things-That-Are-Important-In-a-Relationship-.jpg","altText":"Most Important Things in a Relationship"},"heroCredit":"Stocksy","body":"While every relationship is unique, it’s inevitable that each will face conflict. That being said, there are certain things you and your partner can do to create a solid relationship—whether you’re in a long-term relationship, [recently engaged](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged), or already married and enjoying life as [newlyweds](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed).\n\nTo help you achieve a happy relationship built on trust, loyalty, and commitment, we tapped __[Lesli Doares](http://foundationscoachingnc.com/about-lesli-doraes/)__, marriage coach and author of *__[Blueprints for a Lasting Marriage](https://www.amazon.com/Blueprint-Lasting-Marriage-Happily-Intention-ebook/dp/B0057OKYZA)__* to explain what traits take couples the distance. Here’s the __[relationship advice](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged)__ she had to share:\n\n## 1. Honesty\nIf you want to build a healthy, loving relationship, it’s paramount to be honest with both yourself and your partner, says Doares. While this may sound like common sense, it’s not unheard of for someone in a relationship to avoid little details or hide certain opinions in an attempt to avoid conflict.\n\nThis is especially common early on in a relationship. And although you could be doing so with good intentions—whether you’re aware of it or not—being dishonest with or withholding information from your partner will inevitably cause issues. “You’ll be presenting a false self to [them]. This will either lead to feelings of betrayal and disappointment if you don’t follow through or feelings of resentment if you do, but don’t really want to,” Doares explains. You want to build a relationship where you not only trust one another, but also feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and being your true selves.\n\n## 2. Good Boundaries\nSetting clear boundaries early on in your relationship, as well as discussing them occasionally, is also crucial to a relationship’s foundation. This covers both how you want to be treated—as well as how you want your relationship to be treated. “You have to know what is and isn’t acceptable to you and be able to enforce those boundaries in a healthy way. You teach people how to treat you, but if you accept inappropriate behavior, you won’t feel safe or respected,” says Doares. “Boundaries also allow you to hold on to who you are while you’re part of a relationship. They allow you to create the independence that is the hallmark of a healthy relationship.”\n\nIt’s also important to note that your boundaries—as well as your partner’s—can shift and change throughout your relationship. Just be sure to communicate these changes with each other (refer back to that honesty point above).\n\n## 3. Good Communication\n\nOne of the __[strongest pillars of a good relationship](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged)__ is effective communication. What does that mean exactly? You and your partner should be willing to be honest, transparent, and open with one another. You should also allow each other to express how you’re feeling without jumping to defensiveness.\n\nThat doesn’t mean you’ll never encounter conflict, though. Since these moments are inevitable, the more important aspect is being able to talk about and work through those situations. “Knowing how to talk about tough stuff is a skill,” Doares notes. “Being able to handle disagreements and differences in a productive way is what will keep your love alive.”\n\n![What Are the 5 Most Important Things in a Relationship? | Zola](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/58hE9i2VgXjSi4MFcV6W8n/ddbfa870b83c6810a922029eae977a34/Inline_unsplash__43_.png)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## 4. Respect\nYou and your partner should always, without fail, treat each other with respect. When there’s respect in your relationship, you recognize each other’s unique wants, needs, feelings, and boundaries, and don’t use controlling or manipulative behavior.\n\n“The biggest challenge to a good relationship is recognizing and accepting that you are two different people,” says Doares. “Trying to ‘change’ each other is disrespectful. It’s always okay to ask for a different behavior, but not a different personality. __[Making room for the differences](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged)__ and being willing to learn from them is the real benefit of a relationship.”\n\nA relationship ultimately won’t work out if you don’t regard each other as individuals. On the other hand, if you have respect for one another and acknowledge your differences, you’ll be able to learn and grow together.\n\n## 5. Intentional Love\nPerhaps most importantly, you must actively love each other. “Love is a verb. Acting in a loving way that shows you actually like and value your partner is critical,” says Doares.\n\nThis doesn’t mean you’re always going to like what they’re doing. (No couple has compatibility all the time.) What it does mean, though: No matter what, you treat your partner with honesty, respect, and put an effort towards good communication. (See how it’s all coming together?)\n\nYou can also show your partner intentional love by being interested, showing empathy, and performing small acts of kindness. When you show appreciation and care for one another and are truly happy, you’re more willing to make things work.\n\n## More Important Things for Relationships\nThere are a number of other elements you need in order to __[make a relationship work](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed)__, including:\n\n## 6. Spending time together\nYou can't __[build a strong relationship](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged)__—even if it’s with [the perfect person](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one)—without investing time in it. So, one of the most important things in a relationship? Spending time together.\n\nIn order for your relationship to thrive, you and your partner need to want to spend time together—and not just any time, but quality time. Make time for date nights, long conversations, and experiencing new things with your partner.\n\n## 7. Being supportive\nYou and your partner are a team—and teammates support each other. The healthiest relationships are the ones where each person loves and supports the other, whether they're celebrating a win (like a promotion at work) or going through a tough time (like the loss of a family member).\n\n## 8. Being willing to forgive\nNo one is perfect—and that includes you and your partner. In order for a relationship to succeed, both people need to be willing to forgive the other person when they make a mistake, say something hurtful, or otherwise fall short of their potential as a partner.\n\n## 9. Commitment\nEven the best relationships require effort. And in order for a relationship to work, both partners need to be committed to putting forth the necessary effort. While the level of commitment will depend on the length and seriousness of the relationships, all romantic relationships require at least some commitment; otherwise, it's too easy to walk if and when things get challenging.\n\n## 10. Having a healthy sense of separation\nYou're part of a couple—but you're also your own person. Maintaining a healthy sense of separation (for example, by continuing to pursue your own hobbies and maintain friendships) will ensure that you and your partner continue to grow as individuals—and is a must for mental health and well-being.\n\n## 11. Acceptance\nAs mentioned, no one is perfect—and, chances are, there are going to be things about your partner that get under your skin, especially as the relationship progresses. But accepting your partner for exactly who they are—including their flaws and all the little things that annoy you—is a must if you want your relationship to succeed in the long-term.\n\n![What Are the 5 Most Important Things in a Relationship? | Zola](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2U8jTY1Hb4iO99zg3VGeef/0e9c396c1b1de4f02c74d32afc2c0db0/Inline_unsplash__44_.png) *Photo Credit* // Unsplash \n\n## 12. Loyalty\nIf you want to build trust in a long-term relationship, loyalty is a must. Now, loyalty can mean different things for different couples; the key is to remain loyal to the relationship parameters that you and your partner have agreed on, whether that's complete monogamy or a more open relationship.\n\n## 13. A willingness to compromise\nThere are two people in every relationship. And while you might prefer to do things your own way, if you want a healthy, happy relationship, you need to be willing to compromise and meet your partner in the middle (and vice versa).\n\n## 14. The ability to let things go\nAll lasting relationships will encounter arguments, disagreements, and conflict at some point. But holding on to those conflicts (and the hurt feelings they may have caused) after they've been resolved can weaken the bond between you and your partner. So, if you want to keep your relationship moving forward (and avoid a break up), you need to be willing to work through conflicts with your partner—and then let them go.\n\n## 15. Not just loving each other, but liking each other\nLoving your partner is important. But liking them is equally important. In a healthy, happy relationship, you should genuinely like your partner as a person—and they should feel the same way about you.\n\n### 16. Showing respect for each other\nAs mentioned, mutual respect is a key part of a healthy relationship. But having respect for your significant other isn’t enough; if you want to build a strong relationship, you need to actually show that respect. That includes respecting their time, space, and needs, both in the relationship and as an individual.\n\n### 17. Teamwork\nIn a healthy, committed relationship, both partners look at each other as teammates. No matter what you face or go through, you face or go through it as a team.\n\n### 18. Being emotionally available\nIf you want to build a healthy partnership, you need to be there for your partner and open and willing to address issues, work through things, and grow together. Or, in other words, you need to be emotionally available if and when they need you. \n\n## Unhealthy Relationship Habits\n\nNow that you know the elements of healthy relationships, let's take a look at a few red flags that indicate a relationship is not healthy:\n\n- __Disrespect.__ In a healthy relationship, you feel respected by your partner—and your partner feels respected by you. If that respect doesn't exist—or worse, you feel actively disrespected by your partner (for example, they speak down to you or repeatedly stand you up for dates)—a healthy relationship just isn't possible.\n- __Controlling behavior.__ It doesn't matter how long you've been in a relationship; you are your own person—and, as such, are in control of yourself and your life. If your partner tries to control you in any way (for example, by dictating the clothing you wear, the people you talk to, what job you have, or how you spend your time or money), it's not just a sign your relationship is unhealthy; it's a sign you may be in an abusive relationship.\n- __Stonewalling.__ Healthy relationships require active and open communication. If your partner regularly refuses to communicate or gives you the silent treatment after an argument, consider it a major red flag.\n\nSharing these values with your partner isn’t a guarantee that things will always run smoothly or work out. They are, however, wonderful tools when it comes to facing conflict, showing your partner appreciation, and working towards a successful relationship.","tag":"Advice","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"We spoke with a marriage therapist and couples about their best marriage advice for engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples celebrating another year of marriage.","title":"20 Best Marriage Advice Tips from Experts and Old Couples","slug":"the-3-best-pieces-of-marriage-advice-according-to-a-marriage-therapist","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7yk1TfwWjXPYXYiIyuvc4B/a8e8f51ad7935471908fa94113c38734/Hero_MountainDestinationWeddingatTheMagnoliaVenue_HeatherFaulknerPhotograhy.jpg","altText":"Mixed race bride and groom looking at each other lovingly on their big day"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-12-11T21:12:52.644Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"the-3-best-pieces-of-marriage-advice-according-to-a-marriage-therapist","title":"20 Best Marriage Advice Tips from Experts and Old Couples","excerpt":"We spoke with a marriage therapist and couples about their best marriage advice for engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples celebrating another year of marriage.","author":"McCall Minnor","publishedAt":"2024-03-19T11:00-04:00","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7yk1TfwWjXPYXYiIyuvc4B/a8e8f51ad7935471908fa94113c38734/Hero_MountainDestinationWeddingatTheMagnoliaVenue_HeatherFaulknerPhotograhy.jpg","altText":"Mixed race bride and groom looking at each other lovingly on their big day"},"heroCredit":"Heather Faulkner Photograhy","body":"Marriage isn’t all bliss and riding off into the night after you say your I do’s. While your love for your partner may feel as strong as ever post-nuptials, marriages take effort and a continual choice to honor your vows daily. Make no mistake, this is no easy feat. That’s why there’s no shame in seeking out relationship advice that could aid in keeping your union as strong and healthy as ever.\n\nWe rounded up the [best advice for marriage](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/topic/relationship-advice) from therapists and couples whose love has stood the test of time. See our 20 top marriage advice tips below.\n\n## 1. Marriage is work\n\nYou must be willing to put in the work. “You have to know that love is more than an emotion,” notes Mary Kay Cocharo, licensed marriage and family therapist. Being in a relationship, especially a marriage, needs more than your fondness for one another to last. “People fall in love, so they decide they should be partners and get married,” she says. “And while love is great and propels you into that commitment, it’s just the beginning. It’s not enough. A really good partnership takes commitment and kindness and generosity, and it requires tools like good communication.”\n\n![The 3 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice, According to a Marriage Therapist](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/21YPS00yipioc55eyxZxfr/bba0aaf048616219ca213681145abbc9/inline_unsplash_1_.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## 2. Listen more\n\nWithout a doubt, every healthy marriage will hit a rough spot, be it internal or external. When that happens, your love for each other will be the thing that makes you want to get through it, but it can’t do all the heavy lifting alone. That’s when you have to be able to have productive conversations, understand your partner’s perspective, and decide how to move forward.\n\n## 3. The honeymoon will end\n\n“When couples get married, those early hormones and chemicals that happen towards the beginning of a relationship—the ones that launch us into commitment—start to wear off. Neuroscientists tell us this happens after about two years,” Cocharo explains. What she’s referring to is a study done by a team from the University of Pisa in Italy. They found that the bodily chemistry that makes people sexually attracted to a new partner lasts, at most, for two years. “They wear off, and now you’re looking at [your partner] and realize, oh, we have differences.”\n\nExpecting this and knowing it’s inevitable (and completely normal) softens the initial blow tremendously. If you recognize this before it happens, you can even work to make sure you have the tools to get through future married life difficulties.\n\n## 4. Use the right tools\n\nLearn and use relationship tools like good communication, healthy boundaries, and actively showing your partner love. These marriage work tools heavily aid in resolving disagreements and getting through those inevitable tough times. “Sometimes couples will hit something difficult and use that to mean they’ve chosen the wrong person or that it’s over. That’s just not true,” Cocharo says.\n\n“It’s hard, and sometimes you don’t have the proper tools. Maybe you didn’t grow up in a situation that taught you about love and respect or being a married partner. In that case, you just need to get the help. You don’t just give up.”\n\nNot sure where to get the tools? Consult a marriage therapist. There are also tons of helpful books, workbooks, workshops, and even phone apps (try [Love Nudge](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.grootersproductions.challenge&hl=en)) you can use to do couples’ exercises and prompt conversations with your partner. So long as you’re willing to seek out help (and you have an internet connection), you have the ability to learn and use the tools that will take your marriage the distance.\n\n## 5. Take care of yourself\n\nAn often overlooked key part of having a successful marriage is taking care of yourself. “When some people get married, they think it’s their partner’s job to take care of them. In reality, everyone is busy and has a lot on their plate—you really do need to put on your own oxygen mask first,” says Cocharo. This isn’t to say that you can’t lean on your partner and vice-versa, but rather that when you get married, you should continue to treat your well-being and self-care as a priority. Don’t expect that responsibility to be handed off to your loved one. Making time for self care assures you’re happy and healthy and lets you bring your best self to the relationship.\n\n“Make sure you’re doing the things that make you a happy, healthy, whole person. Simple things like eating right, exercising, and getting out in nature. Maybe praying or meditating, reading, or whatever calms you down. Also, going to see friends and visiting family,” Cocharo suggests.\n\n## 6. Marriage is 60/40\n\nSome people say marriage is 50/50, but that’s really hard to measure, and it often ends up with both partners feeling shorted. With the [60/40 relationship rule](https://psychiatristsnyc.com/blog/want-a-successful-relationship-practice-this-one-rule/), a marriage is uneven, with both partners feeling like they’re giving 60%. When you put in 60%, “you’re giving your partner love on their terms,” says Mt. Sinai psychiatrist and relationship expert Amanda Itzkoff. “When both partners focus on giving 60% and taking just 40%, the relationship has an overwhelming chance of being successful.”\n\n![Stocksy txp05f31680VSp300 Large 4393583](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/M61DW5GeWvu5fk28aEm4F/6ff9b06201a5df87012dcbd2edecf6bd/Stocksy_txp05f31680VSp300_Large_4393583.jpg)\n\n## 7. Lose the battle, win the war\n\nYou might feel like you *have to get them to mow the lawn today, or if you pay for that new kitchen, you won’t save enough this year*. Go ahead and lose those smaller battles now to build a healthier marriage. As Benjamin Franklin famously said, “If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.”\n\n## 8. Start counseling before you need it\n\nWaiting until there’s a problem before you start marriage therapy is like waiting to get teeth pulled instead of flossing every night. According to Marriage.com, the [best time to start couple’s therapy](https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/when-to-start-pre-marital-counseling/) is as soon as possible, and preferably before you’re married. Think of marriage counseling like coaching, not a sign that something is broken. Choose a good coach, and use it as an opportunity to work on and change yourself—not your partner.\n\n## 9. Listen to audiobooks\n\nOne chief cause of marital stress is endlessly replaying arguments after they have ended. After an argument, the tendency is to stew about it and try to make sense of it. While working to understand is healthy, it can put your emotions on perpetual simmer. Listening to an audiobook while you mow the lawn or do the dishes can keep you from stewing, give your feelings time to reset, and even show you good ideas that can help you strengthen your relationship. Get an Audible subscription or a free app from your local library.\n\n## 10. Eat first, fight later\n\nThis piece of marriage advice is so simple it’s easy to overlook it. Before you talk to your spouse, have a meal or at least a snack. [Eating a meal increases agreeableness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25770700/) (so your partner is more likely to see your point of view) and reduces dominance and submissiveness (so you’re less likely to be overbearing or give in too easily). Feel a fight coming on? Take a snack break.\n\n## 11. Give grace\n\nSpoiler alert: Your spouse isn’t going to do everything right. In fact, they’ll often do things very wrong. If you keep a tally of every way they’ve let you down, you may win on points, but your relationship will lose. Grace is saying, “You did wrong, but I forgive you, and I love you anyway.” Give your partner a clean slate every day (and every hour). And while you’re at it, give some of that forgiveness to yourself.\n\n![The 3 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice, According to a Marriage Therapist](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1HJfLa2CMijLEdHHEsEu1S/a4c519b7964854f6d9dc505d26ea971a/inline_unsplash.jpg)*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## 12. Don’t assume\n\nOur brains are good at filling in the blanks. The problem is it’s easy to fill in someone else’s thoughts. That’s why talking without judging, arguing, or adding your opinions is so healthy for relationships. When you let your partner talk, you won’t have to fill in any blanks. You’ll know. Sound easy? It’s not. Active listening is a skill you’ll have to learn, like playing the piano or shooting jump shots. You can start with Kate Murphy’s eye-opening book, *[You’re Not Listening](https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Listening-Missing-Matters/dp/1250779871/ref=asc_df_1250779871/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=507975958237&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4121891810911394376&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9009250&hvtargid=pla-927127602652&psc=1&mcid=8b3bcf03afe0323998a173033f904849&gclid=CjwKCAiAs6-sBhBmEiwA1Nl8s6BMtsMauL9PKTvLkL8cIwriOgAOodo2CRdL2l8b-3Dri_GbvanGvhoCsssQAvD_BwE)*.\n\n## 13. Learn to fight\n\nPrediction: you will fight. But—you can fight in a way that weakens your relationship or strengthens it. The secret here is that nobody is born knowing how to fight the right way. And though there’s plenty of great advice online (be respectful, take a break if things get heated, use active listening), they’re easier said than done. So, consider taking a class on how to fight. Some marriage counselors and churches offer fighting classes for couples, and the online [Couples Fight School](https://masteringconflict.com/couples-fight-school/) can be a fun, rewarding experience for both of you.\n\n## 14. Learn to apologize\n\nWe all know we should eat humble pie from time to time, but did you know there’s a right way and a wrong way? The key is to accept full responsibility (no buts), then take your lumps. Expect your partner to unload on you after you say you’re sorry and accept it with more listening. Then, be willing to make it right, give in, and give up something you thought you really wanted. (What’s more important, winning the argument or your marriage?)\n\n## 15. Be a team\n\nYou’re in this together. While this may sound like cliche marriage advice, the key point is to see problems as both of you vs the problem, not both of you against each other. Don’t blame each other. For a little inspiration, see this *Atlantic* article: [Marriage Is a Team Sport](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/11/how-collaboration-can-improve-marriage-relationships/672048/).\n\n## 16. Spend now or spend later\n\nIs it too expensive to take your spouse out to eat once a week? Is time precious to you? You may want to spend time or money on things that set you up for a good life later, but what good will it do you if there’s nobody there to share it with? Spend a big chunk of your time and money on your spouse now, even if it’s not the smartest play for your career or finances. If you don’t, you may spend it later in divorce proceedings and custody arrangements.\n\n![newly engaged couple in debt](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7GFbYLisIT4eBAT2WM3y31/247792361f0df7f70e34e6d542dffcb1/HERO_Unsplash_1080x720__6_.jpg)\n\n## 17. Love is a decision, not a feeling\n\nIf you don’t feel loved, you may mistakenly conclude your marriage is a failure. And while [most couples](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/64-percent-of-americans-say-theyre-happy-in-their-relationships-300595502.html) report being happy with their marriages, there will undoubtedly be times you don’t feel loved at all. When that happens, take comfort in knowing that [love is more of a choice](https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-is-a-choice-more-than-a-feeling) than a feeling. To choose from the heart, read the Amazon bestseller *[Love Is a Decision](https://www.amazon.com/Love-Decision-Gary-Smalley/dp/0849942683)* by marriage counselor Gary Smalley.\n\n## 18. Let them grow\n\n“You’re not the woman I married.” Surprise—she won’t be. In fact, 90% of adults will change at *least* one major personality trait in the next few years. So, if your marriage lasts 50 years, you might end up married to a completely different person from the one you said “I do” to. The gold nugget of marriage advice here is to accept that from the start. Instead of resisting change, expect it, celebrate it, and accept it.\n\n## 19. Just show up\n\nYou don’t have to have an opinion on every issue or a solution to every problem. You don’t even need to say something every time there’s a lull in the conversation. Sometimes, just your presence can show you’re there for your partner, and that can win their goodwill. That’s a lot better than looking like you have all the answers.\n\n## 20. You can’t fix them, so don’t\n\nYour partner is going to have flaws, and some of them will be big. You can encourage and support them, but you can’t repair their damage. While this can be a hard pill to swallow, you married them, not the person they could be. You can help that medicine go down by acknowledging your own flaws and spending some time reflecting on their strengths. Accept and honor who they are, [along with your differences](https://www.stanfordcouplescounseling.com/rebuilding-emotional-safety-strengthening-your-relationship-by-accepting-your-partners-differences-part-3/).\n\nAlthough we here at Zola concentrate on wedding planning, we also realize that your celebration is a small part of your lifetime together. While you’re [choosing flowers](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/the-most-popular-wedding-flowers), arranging the [ceremony](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/a-guide-to-the-wedding-ceremony-order-of-events), and planning the [honeymoon](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/best-honeymoon-destinations), don’t forget that your wedding is the start of a lifetime together. We want to give you the best start you can have—from the planning stages of your engagement to the start of a beautiful life partnership. ","tag":"Advice","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"What are the most important things in a long, healthy relationship? Read on to find out now. ","title":"18 Things That Are Important In a Relationship","slug":"what-are-the-5-most-important-things-in-a-relationship","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2tRMjQG9NUdJdwEjUjdprR/76dcb8f489b13a16d5ff396dc6fcad62/18-Things-That-Are-Important-In-a-Relationship-.jpg","altText":"Most Important Things in a Relationship"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Want to find out where your partner stands on marriage, but not sure how to broach the subject? Read on to find how and when to talk about marriage when dating.","title":"How to Talk About Marriage When Dating","slug":"how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4XxX5CB6Xz06uYVX1pkihD/8363ec8437cf3a9816750c0a772ef8fb/Hero_TraditionalNuptialsinMiami_InfiniteLoopPhotography_Films.jpg","altText":"Talk About Marriage When Dating"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Finding the person you spend forever with is no easy task. There are signs to look out for to know if someone is your soulmate. Learn more here.","title":"How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One“?","slug":"how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1qEbZGmQOEVaFZN6Y5nzWM/6c3650f50147658c78f789ed88111e8a/Hero_ModernFallElopementatFreeman-s_AngelicaRadwayPhotography.jpg","altText":"Finding the one to marry"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-03-19T18:42:19.548Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed","title":"10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed","excerpt":"From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n","author":"Emily Forrest","publishedAt":"2019-02-26T19:23:08.241Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7ouLurjdpXyrD5Wf448iu6/e0004f2020a3752a6fb4e111f3431d4e/pexels-hong-son-5542265.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"Congratulations—you’ve danced your first dance, fed each other bites of cake, and waved goodbye to your guests through the smoky haze of your sparkler exit. You’re married! While everything on your wedding planning to-do [Checklist](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/checklist/your-ultimate-wedding-planning-checklist) has been crossed off (except for writing [thank you notes](https://www.zola.com/wedding-planning/thank-you-cards/shop), of course), there are still some things you need to take care of now that you’re legally wed. \n\nFrom financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, there can be an overwhelming number of tasks to do—which is why we’ve created this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n\n## 1. Request Your Marriage Certificate\nYour marriage certificate (not to be confused with your [marriage license](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/a-guide-to-marriage-licenses) confirms the date, time, and legality or your marriage in the eyes of the state. Getting several certified copies of your marriage certificate should be your first course of action, as you’ll need to present this document in order to take most of the steps we outline below. Here are just a few situations that require a marriage certificate: \n- To update your identity via a legal name change\n- To claim legal married status for tax and Medicaid benefits\n- As proof of relationship\n\nTo get copies of your marriage certificate, contact or visit the vital records office within your local state government office. It’s recommended that you order 1-5 copies of your marriage certificate for immediate use in taking the below steps, and an additional two to keep for your own personal records and as proof of identity.\n\n## 2. Change Your Name (if You Want)\nIf you’ve decided to change your name to indicate your married status, there are many institutions and businesses (each with their own set of paperwork) at which you’ll have to make the switch. After getting certified copies of your marriage certificate, your first stop should be your local social security office to legally change your name with the US government. Then start updating other important legal docs, accounts, and personal listings. Here’s a brief (and definitely not exhaustive) list of things you’ll need to update with your new married name: \n- social security card\n- driver’s license (and other identification)\n- financial accounts\n- credit cards\n- postal address\n- passport \n\nCheck out our article on [How to Change Your Name](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/name-change-after-marriage) for more guidance on how to navigate this process with ease. \n\n## 3. Open a Joint Bank Account\nEven if you decide to keep separate bank accounts, it’s really helpful to open a joint bank account once you’re married. If you’re keeping separate accounts, you can still both deposit funds in here to pay for shared expenses or to begin saving for big-ticket items down the road. Or choose to collapse all your accounts into one in order to streamline your finances and truly go all-in on sharing everything, deposits and withdrawals and all.\n\n## 4. Open a Joint Credit Card\nSimilarly, a joint credit card is another helpful life tool that you and your new spouse will want to get your hands on. Set up recurring payments for daily living costs like utility, water, phone, and cable bills; charge your honeymoon or other travel expenses to it to rack up points or miles; purchase furniture or other must-haves for your newlywed home; buy Christmas presents for your families; or just splurge on a few romantic date nights out. \n\nYou can still keep separate credit cards for individual purchases (or gifts you don’t want your spouse to know about), but a shared credit card is just a practical financial solution. \n\n## 5. Budget Together\nMaybe it’s a new car, a starter home, a luxury vacation, or preparing to start a family: whatever goals you have for your future life together, they’re going to come with big expenses. Therefore it’s important to get in sync about your saving and spending habits. Plan a night to discuss your family budget: pour some wine, get cozy, and have an honest discussion about your financial priorities and comfort levels. \n\nMarriage is all about compromise, so you might as well start practicing now—and coming to an agreement about how to handle money is a key piece of a happily married life. Once you’re on the same page about how to accomplish your financial goals, and you have a plan for making them happen, it will be easier to keep each other accountable and stick your budget together. \n\n## 6. Get Life Insurance\nYou’re no longer a single entity moving through the world—now that you’re married, whatever befalls you also befalls your partner. In the unfortunate case that something major happens to one of you, you’ll want to be sure the other is protected and taken care of financially. \n\nWhile no one likes to think about potentially tragic situations, buying a life insurance policy is just a smart move for peace of mind. Luckily there are plenty of life insurance agents out there that can walk you through the process and set you up with a policy that fits your budget. \n\n## 7. Invest in Your Future\nSpeaking of unforeseen circumstances, one of your most important jobs as newlyweds (besides making use all of your great [Registry Gifts](https://www.zola.com/wedding-registry)) is to figure out how to set priorities, and plan for, your future. You might have even received checks or cash funds as part of your wedding gifts—so how do you plan to use this nest egg? Do either of you have any student loan debt to pay off, and if so, how will you handle it? At what age would you like to retire, and how much money will you need to save in order to do so? \n\nIf you don’t already contribute to a 401(k) through your employer, talk to a financial advisor about setting up an IRA or other retirement-savings account for both of you. It’s also a good idea to discuss creating an investment portfolio with your advisor while you’re at it—this is the time to set yourself up for long-term financial success with your new life partner. \n\n## 8. Plan for Your Taxes\nGetting married has tons of perks (a lifetime of love, support, and companionship, for one). One of the financial perks of marriage are the potential tax benefits that might accompany your new legally married status. From potentially lucrative credits you could earn, to various deductions you can make, to even deciding exactly how to file and who should claim what, taxes become a lot more complex after marriage. \n\nTo make sure you understand how your married status changes your tax situation, and to ensure you’re making the wisest and most informed tax decisions, talk to an accountant or tax advisor to find out what sorts of credits, benefits, or other rules and regulations you should be aware of now that you’re no longer single in the eyes of the US government. \n\n## 9. Update Your Marital Status\nMuch like changing your name, there are many businesses and institutions that care about your marital status. Where you might have marked “single” before, now you get to go back and check the “married” box—which hopefully is exciting enough to make this task less tedious. Here’s a brief overview of some of the places you’ll need to update:\n- Your employer’s HR department\n- Bank(s)\n- Insurance company\n- Landlord or co-op board\n- Membership clubs where your spouse would have access or privileges\n\nBe mindful that this list will change (and most likely increase) for every individual, so be sure to think through any other business offices, institutions, or memberships where your relationship status will have an impact and alert them according. \n\n## 10. Make Plans for Your Estate (and End-of-Life Care)\nLife is unpredictable, so planning for its ups and downs is just plain smart. Legally record your wishes for what should happen in the unfortunate circumstance where one of you is no longer around or capable of making decisions. First off, designate your spouse as the beneficiary for the following types of accounts: \n- Existing banking accounts (checking, savings)\n- Life insurance \n- Investments (stocks, bonds, mutual funds)\n- Retirement accounts (401(k), 403(b), IRA, Roth IRA)\n- Military benefits\n- Pension (SEP, SARSEP)\n- Trusts\n- Any other property, titles, and assets \n\nNext, meet with an estate attorney to create a Will that determines how your assets are distributed after your death, as well as defines guardianship of current or future children. Finer details of Wills include establishing trust funds and/or inheritance plans for children, and even making plans for pets. \n\nWhile meeting with your estate attorney, also decide whether you’ll grant power of attorney to your spouse, which lets him or her have decision-making power over your finances. Without a Will in place, state laws determine how your estate is distributed and who can make decisions for you, so don’t ignore this one.\n\nLastly, consider creating a Living Will if you want to be the one to make your own healthcare decisions down the line. Without a Living Will, generally your spouse (or an immediate family member) will the one forced to make decisions about your care if you are unable to. You can also create an Advanced Directive that outlines your specific wishes about care you might receive near the end of your life, and grants a designated agent the power to enforce these wishes. \n\nWhile we know some of these things are pretty heavy (or just plain unfun) to think about, they are all critical for setting you and your new spouse up for a lifetime of success, happiness, and fulfillment. So try to find the excitement and joy in merging your two lives into one—and when in doubt, throw a little champagne at the situation to make it more celebratory. Best of luck on your future road together, newlyweds! ","tag":"List","nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Thinking about changing your last name? Here's everything you need to know when considering a name change after marriage. Learn more. ","title":"How to Change Your Name After Marriage","slug":"name-change-after-marriage","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2UlzQwVNOBk0iBDemf4u21/bb0251294f8cadb7419bd7abf85b6234/How-to-Change-Your-Name-After-Marriage-V2.jpg","altText":"zola couple plans for name change "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Here are some etiquette tips and timing guidelines to help you mail your wedding thank you notes in proper style.","title":"How to Write Wedding Thank You Cards","slug":"how-to-write-wedding-thank-you-cards","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/Kc6v36CcS7oBTq0S8wzsU/38335853f6ab731e1696d8fef09aac4b/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"wedding thank you notes on a marble counter next to a ring dish and a vase of pink peonies"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Craft heartfelt wedding thank you cards with our expert guide. From wording to personalization, learn to convey appreciation in every note you write.","title":"Wedding Thank You Card Wording: Tips & Examples ","slug":"wedding-thank-you-card-wording","topic":"Invites & paper","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2bmjLPUEJbV1Ka3AMoKglO/8c48c198f18c343e95278addd508e49f/thank-you-card-wording-hero.jpeg","altText":"A pair of newlyweds are captured holding the words “thank you” while sharing a kiss, perhaps before practicing their wedding thank you card wording skills."},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Diamond experts share all the places you can wear your engagement ring and where you shouldn't wear your ring. Plus, tips for keeping your engagement ring like new.","title":"Where You Can (and Can't) Wear Your Engagement Ring","slug":"where-you-can-and-cant-wear-your-engagement-ring","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1EkyCSqm040daFYaobOyaH/00c105e08f44c0785713e860c896e31e/Hero_Zola__1_.jpg","altText":"where you can wear your engagment rings"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Your marriage license isn’t the most exciting task on your road to married life, but it is a requirement for your union to be deemed legal. So how do you go about getting a marriage license? Our guide covers it all. ","title":"A Guide to Marriage Licenses","slug":"a-guide-to-marriage-licenses","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6IcJuHdO9FKSB9935zn2CW/8674613b9fcf7440e5c9d2d87360ac2c/Mackler_Studios.jpg","altText":"bride and groom sitting in the backseat of car posing with marriage license"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"Get started building your registry with our a super-comprehensive checklist of list registry essentials, straight from our team of experts, that will cover ALL of your needs and help you build the newlywed home of your dreams. ","title":"Essentials to Put on Your Wedding Registry ","slug":"essentials-to-put-on-your-registry","topic":"Registry & gifts","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4jVrTknRfiCK40weiqWOQC/42d3c8d240e9c53dfbd05a1f2cf68a4e/Essentials-to-Put-on-Your-Wedding-Registry.jpg","altText":"wedding registry gift essentials including a blue Le Creuseut dutch oven, measuring spoons, a yellow citrus juice, and a turquoise citrus juicer "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Stay within your wedding budget! See average wedding cost breakdowns by state, guest size, and vendor service, plus money-saving tips from the experts.","title":"How Much Does the Average Wedding Cost in 2024?","slug":"whats-the-average-cost-of-a-wedding","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4skZZwsBNNnII2pvCWRNPN/671c056531847a20ab06c1a85d2f37f5/1205_FLR2024_EA_header_editorial.png","altText":"Couple sitting on steps in wedding attire, with text \"The First Look Report 2024\""},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"We’ll walk you through the steps of online wedding planning, highlighting all of Zola’s incredibly easy and intuitive online wedding planning tools that’ll make planning for the big day more fun and less frustrating.","title":"How to Plan a Wedding: A Step-by-Step Guide","slug":"how-to-plan-a-wedding","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4dIWp3wUEoOYErrmI2ARMW/7ef19284bfcf930b88487d3c0a562999/How-to-plan-a-Wedding.jpg","altText":"Zola online wedding planning tools as seen on mobile, desktop, and tablet"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"If you've received an invitation to a wedding and you're not sure how exactly to respond? This is our guide to wedding RSVP etiquette, tips, and steps.","title":"How to RSVP to a Wedding ","slug":"how-to-rsvp-to-a-wedding","topic":"Invites & paper","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1Un5RYDtyMgk6QCyO00iqk/39a3c4e43f81bcfe6d0ab640a3ac9a7f/How-to-RSVP-to-a-Wedding-RSVP-Etiquette.jpg","altText":"how to RSVP to a wedding"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Learn the how-to's of wedding invitation wording, plus formal and casual wedding invitation examples from the experts.","title":"Wedding Invitation Wording: A Complete How-To Guide","slug":"how-to-word-wedding-invitations","topic":"Invites & paper","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5rENN5B7RPAn14pYP75HgH/d457816cdf42b12cc74b3e7d88b73513/Wedding_Invitaion_Wording_Etiquette.jpg","altText":"green and white wedding invitation on green background"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Don’t miss a wedding planning detail with our complete, expert-crafted wedding checklist and timeline. Free, printable version inside!","title":"2024/25 Printable Wedding Planning Checklist & Timeline - Zola","slug":"your-ultimate-wedding-planning-checklist","topic":"Wedding planning 101","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4fA6of0jjP7aJqXJRy0JOx/edd3b48f6fea1e273025d3db462dd4be/Ultimate_Wedding_Planning_Checklist.jpg","altText":"wedding planning checklist"},"type":"checklistPage"}],"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T18:52:42.359Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"newlywed-game-questions","title":"90 Newlywed Game Questions + How to Play ","excerpt":"Discover the fun of the Newlywed Game! Learn about this hilarious couples' quiz and explore 90 fun question ideas to spark laughter and connection.","author":"Monica Mercuri","publishedAt":"2021-02-08T15:35:54.128Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/52V5uHBjKrW0n37KCJYM8B/66c90aa85915c9cb64388852413295d5/newlywed-games-hero.jpg","altText":"Zola"},"heroCredit":"Zola","heroCreditUrl":"http://www.zola.com","body":"The Newlywed Game, based on a game show of the same name, is a party game where you quiz the couple to see how well they know each other. It’s a popular [choice for entertainment](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/topic/decor-inspiration/music-and-entertainment) at wedding-related events as it lets couples take a walk down memory lane, recalling favorite moments and fun facts about each other.\n\nIt’s also a hilarious ice-breaker and allows guests to learn more about the happy couple, with [questions](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/bachelorette-party-game-questions-youll-love) like “Who is a better gift giver?” and “Who said I love you first?”\n\nBelow, we’ve compiled a list of 90 of the best Newlywed Game questions for a [wedding shower](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/a-guide-to-bridal-showers) or [engagement party](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/engagement-party-ideas) as well as tips for playing. In addition to interesting and funny Newlywed Game questions and printables, we’ve included even more free party printables at the bottom of this post — [click here](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/newlywed-game-questions#printables) to jump directly to those games. \n\n## How to Play the Newlywed Game\nHosting a wedding-related event? Break the ice with The Newlywed Game. Sometimes also called the honeymoon game or couples quiz, this activity is a fun, simple, and affordable way to add humor to a celebration.\n\nThe point of the game is to discover who knows their partner best by correctly predicting their responses to revealing questions. Here’s a quick overview of how to play: \n\n### 1: Make Sure the Couple is on Board\nFirst and foremost, reach out to the couple and confirm they’re willing to play the Newlywed Game at their event. The game should be fun and light-hearted, but since the questions can reveal personal information in front of a large group, it's best to gauge comfort level ahead of time.\n\n### 2: Gather Intel via Email\nOnce the couple has agreed to play along, email them individually with a list of questions for them to answer about themselves a few days before the event. Remind them not to discuss the questions at all and to keep their responses a secret. \n\n### 3: Designate a Host to Emcee the Game\nThe Newlywed Game is the most entertaining when it’s played as a game show. Find someone willing to explain the rules to a crowd, ask tough questions, and make light of the responses along the way. The more personality and humor the emcee can add on the fly, the better.\n\n### 4: Play the Game and Keep Score\nNow it’s time to quiz the couple. Pass out fill-in-the-blank scorecards to each individual. These questionnaires will ask them facts about their partner, and they’ll want to correctly guess the response their partner emailed over a few days before.\n\nEach time an individual correctly guesses an answer to a question about their partner, they receive a point. The individual who has the most points at the end of the game is the winner. \n\n## 90 Newlywed Questions for Couples\nReady to get started? Below you’ll find a list of 90 Newlywed Game questions for couples. In the event of a tie, we’ve included a tie-breaker round with more challenging questions.\n\nWe’ve also included free printable fill-in-the-blank questionnaires you can print and use at the event.\n\n### Romantic Questions\nTo start, let’s delve into your romantic history with this list of “remember when” questions. \n\n1. Where did you two meet?\n2. Who made the first move?\n3. Where did you first kiss?\n4. On a scale from 1 to 10, how would your partner rate your first date?\n5. How often do you go on dates now?\n6. Who's the better kisser?\n7. What did your partner wear on your first date?\n8. Who said I love you first?\n9. What movie did you first watch together?\n10. Who is a better gift giver?\n11. What song most reminds you of your partner and why?\n12. What’s your partner’s favorite physical feature on you?\n13. What’s your spouse’s perfect date night like?\n14. What is your dating anniversary?\n15. What is your partner’s favorite vacation you went on together?\n16. When did your partner first know they loved you?\n17. What is your partner’s pet name for you?\n\n![newlywed-game-mockup-romance](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5OxKSPXvAGBKtEhTmQt8ZL/47d136ac7c3752b89b731bdef4757d4e/newlywed-game-mockup-romance.jpg)
\n\n### Favorites Questions\nDo you know all of your partner’s favorite things? Prove it! \n\n16. What is your partner’s favorite food?\n17. What is your partner’s favorite dessert?\n18. What’s your spouse’s favorite color?\n19. What is your partner’s favorite tv show? \n20. What is your partner’s favorite holiday?\n21. What is your partner’s favorite alcoholic beverage?\n22. What is your partner’s favorite soda?\n23. What’s your spouse’s favorite ice cream flavor?\n24. What is your partner’s favorite sports team? \n25. What is your partner’s favorite band?\n26. What is your partner’s favorite movie? \n27. What is your partner’s favorite animal? \n28. Who is your partner’s favorite actor or actress?\n29. Who is your partner’s celebrity crush? \n30. What is your partner’s favorite scent? \n31. What is your partner’s favorite podcast?\n32. What is your partner’s favorite board game?
\n\n### Guess Who Questions\nIn this round, get inside the mind of your partner to answer “guess who?” questions. \n\n31. Who takes longer showers?\n32. Who is the better cook?\n33. Who is better with kids? \n34. Who is the better singer? \n35. Who is a better planner?\n36. Who is more addicted to their cell phone?\n37. Who is tidier? \n38. Who is a better driver? \n39. Who exercises more? \n40. Who is more street smart?\n41. Who is more artistic?\n42. Who is more outgoing? \n43. Who is more of a risk-taker? \n44. Who is a bigger foodie? \n45. Who is more likely to win Jeopardy?\n\n![newlywed-game-guess-who](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/30EQ2k0yyeLMi5vct5arED/3f5075c57035211a8a88885a6e62571f/newlywed-game-mockup-guesswho.jpg)
\n\n### Finance Questions\nMoney is an important part of every relationship. Do you know your partner’s finance habits and preferences? \n\n46. Would your partner rather spend money on experiences or possessions? \n47. How many credit cards does your partner have? \n48. Is your partner better with money than you? \n49. If your partner won the lottery, what’s the first thing they would buy? \n50. What is your partner’s dream vacation spot?\n51. Does your partner buy generic or name brand products?\n52. If your partner found unmarked cash, would they turn it in? \n53. What hobby does your partner spend the most on? \n54. How many kids does your partner want to have? \n55. Who is your partner’s biggest financial influence? \n56. Where does your partner want to retire? \n57. Does your partner drive a more expensive car than you? \n58. Has your partner ever donated plasma for money?\n59. Who is more charitable?\n60. Does your partner follow a monthly budget?
\n\n### Random Facts Questions \nThese quiz questions will reveal how well you know random facts about your partner. \n\n61. What was your partner’s first car? \n62. What was the name of your partner’s first pet? \n63. Does your partner snore?\n64. What is your partner’s biggest fear? \n65. What’s your partner’s hidden talent?\n66. What is your partner’s go-to karaoke song?\n67. Is your partner more likely to arrive early or late?\n68. What is your partner’s love language? \n69. What is your partner’s sign?\n70. If your partner had a superpower, what would it be?\n71. What is your partner’s worst habit? \n72. What is your partner’s dream date?\n73. Does your partner prefer dogs or cats? \n74. What would be your partner’s last meal?\n75. What decade does your partner want to live in most? \n\n![newlywed-game-mockup-randomfacts](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1tX9q2ItscIA0Lhum6qp0n/55216ca037b3b9873260eef9b3bad31a/newlywed-game-mockup-randomfacts.jpg)
\n\n### Tiebreaker Questions \nTied up at the end of the game? Use this list of challenging questions to declare a winner.\n\n76. What was your partner’s GPA in high school? \n77. What’s your spouse’s shoe size?\n78. What’s your spouse’s pet peeve?\n79. What’s the full name of your spouse’s best friend?\n80. Were you your partner’s first love?\n81. How often does your partner dream about you? \n82. Who was your partner’s favorite teacher? \n83. What did your partner want to be when they grew up?\n84. What was your spouse’s first job?\n85. What is your spouse’s dream job?\n86. What’s the first movie your spouse ever watched?\n87. What was your partner’s favorite age?\n88. Was your partner rebellious as a teenager? \n89. What is the happiest moment of your partner’s life?\n90. As a child, what was your partner’s favorite movie?\n91. How would your partner choose to get famous? \n92. What is your partner’s greatest accomplishment? \n93. What is your partner’s favorite time of day? \n94. Who would your partner trade places with and why?\n95. How does your partner want to be remembered?\n96. Is your partner a better listener than you? \n\n[![newlywed-games-download-buttons-01](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/11m2n7nkv7d5Yo0sXURx1v/b002d76b065afa446d1f9e45ea05dbe4/newlywed-games-download-buttons-01.png)\n](//assets.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1oxUj9jnspflswhyRVzAK0/b1a04c473145877d490f771f9d3fe5ec/newlywed-game-questionaire.pdf)\n
\n\n## More Engagement Party Games and Activities \n\n![engagement-party-cheers](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2NcBqknXzNb74xgrcfF7FI/e5144796ec84fab5228489d88e2dcd7c/engagement-party-cheers.jpg)\n\nLooking for more party activities to spice up a wedding event? We’ve included some more unique printable games below. You can also check out our posts on [bridal shower games](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/free-bridal-shower-printables) and [bachelorette party games](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/bachelorette-party-games).
\n\n### Never Have I Ever \nSimilar to the Newlywed Game, Never Have I Ever delves into the past — only this time, each individual fesses up to their own actions. \n\n__How to play__: Sit the couple front and center, each with their own paddle. Ask a list of situational questions to reveal what each individual player has or hasn’t done. Every time an individual flashes the “I have done that” paddle, they must place a finger down. The loser is the one who gets eliminated first. \n\n![newlywed-game-never-have-i-ever](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4Sp8v5XICd3c8OmdMHDEZP/31c65001f572f846c83579873f9dd88b/newlywed-game-never-have-i-ever.jpg)\n\n[![newlywed-games-download-buttons-02](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2e3BPjhX7GdD3jrzOqjV7Q/d980573de7847a3d53448a103f338a67/newlywed-games-download-buttons-02.png)\n](//assets.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4wVEu3wrpiM5mjLJOcSYJ9/1cb3f5d99c8763bf7b3e881f40f45d99/never-have-I-ever-paddles.pdf)
\n\n### Famous Fictional Couples Guessing Game \nThis next game is perfect for film and literature lovers, and it can be played with a group of party guests. The point of the game is for each player to guess the famous fictional couple they’ve drawn from the deck by asking yes or no questions. \n\n__How to play__: Each player will draw a famous couple card facedown. They’ll then hold the card on their head without looking at it (this is key). Players then ask the group a series of yes or no questions to guess which famous fictional couple they are. \n\n![newlywed-game-guess-who](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/xnCaLDA6jyd1ShUXgJyt6/9aaccda467fa5e2e9b236d1d0ddf0291/newlywed-game-guess-who.jpg)\n\n[![newlywed-games-download-buttons-03](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/Dxv9pTIyGCkZxwyEHvyah/9f043e77f347d14278ab7f7e56c5ab09/newlywed-games-download-buttons-03.png)\n](//assets.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5GTBb9A6JpKdtEstLZBCBX/0cea09558a7002230259ce2af9421e6d/newlywed-guessing-game.pdf)
\n\n### Message in a Bottle Activity \nGames aren’t the only way to spice up a party. This activity creates meaningful memories and can double as a creative reception display later on. Attendees will each write a message to the couple for them to open on their one year anniversary. \n\nWhether it’s marriage advice or a fond memory, the message will help make the couple’s one year anniversary even more magical. \n\n__How to play__: Print our free display sign and message cards on color paper. Display them on a table with pens and empty wine bottles, and usher party attendees towards the activity throughout the event. Have them write down a meaningful note and then place it rolled up inside a bottle. \n\n![newlywed-game-message-in-a-bottle](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6suAOxGcSHLvvN9z33kzsi/0f679c4c467bfacb6d2d40725299053f/newlywed-game-message-in-a-bottle.jpg)\n\n[![newlywed-games-download-buttons-04](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2j9nnxcWQWD1g8KQKy6TvN/efc81c05c16eeddf828be30ab1778572/newlywed-games-download-buttons-04.png)\n](//assets.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4DoSSkEykGcOImvuSoEyrb/2e6fe3d2b72a8b13b91b6ef8e39644b2/message-in-a-bottle-printable.pdf)
\n\n## Conclusion\nThis list of Newlywed Game questions and free printables helps make hosting a wedding-related event (like an [engagement party](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/engagement-party-ideas)) a breeze. For similar bachelorette party games, check out our list here. Hosting a bridal shower and are in need of some entertainment? [We’ve got you covered](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/free-bridal-shower-printables).","tag":"How To","updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:30.536Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"whats-a-wedding-memory-book","title":"What's a Wedding Memory Book?","excerpt":"What’s a wedding memory book, and why do you need one? Here, we answer these important questions for newlyweds.","author":"Emily Forrest","publishedAt":"2020-12-11T19:07:11.974Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4iQvEOo01QVaukJgyu8CY1/0be9848d13dfe613569c192d2223089d/hero_unsplash.jpg","altText":"wedding memory book"},"heroCredit":"Unsplash","body":"Your wedding day is something you will want to remember forever, and while we’re sure your memory is good, it probably isn’t quite good enough to recollect how the day unfolded minute by minute. Even if you can recall it that way today, you probably won’t be able to later. Plus, your children and your children’s children will want to cash in on the memories, too. \n\nSo, how do you memorialize this moment in time? A wedding memory book will allow you and your family—and your future family—to reminisce about the best day of your life, as well as the days leading up to it. The concept has been around for a long time, but this is one tradition you won’t want to do away with. There’s nothing quite like having a physical book full of your beautiful wedding photos and mementos. Plus, there are so many options of [modern wedding books](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album) to choose from, so you’re guaranteed to find one that matches your style and does your wedding justice. \n\n### What Is a Wedding Memory Book?\nA wedding memory book is a keepsake for your wedding memories. This can be a photo album filled with images from your wedding day, but it can also be an addition to a wedding album and feature photos not only from the wedding, but from the wedding season as a whole. It usually includes personal items and paper goods as well. \n\nA wedding memory book is also a bit less formal than a wedding album, because it includes both professional and non-professional images. What’s more, it doesn’t have to be a book at all—it can be a binder or box to hold all your most cherished wedding items.\n\n![What's a Wedding Memory Book?](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2cYH669tGK70Qs7yM20Edt/f8a17aa9af4696cd1dfce397e16b7774/inline_unsplash.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## What to Include in a Wedding Memory Book\nThere are many wedding memory book ideas, and it’s up to you to choose what to include, but the more the better. This is the place to store any and all of your wedding possessions (those that will fit in a book or small box, at least). Don’t feel the need to edit out funny photos or dump the final rose from your bouquet, there’s a place for that here. \n\n### Photos From Other Wedding Events\nThe memories from this time in your life are made up of so much more than just your wedding day, so your wedding memory book should reflect that. Because there are fewer rules to crafting a memory book than a traditional album, you can (and should) include photos from any and all wedding-related events. The proposal? Heck, yes. The showers? Uh-huh. The honeymoon? Absolutely. When you look back on your memory book and see the photos with family at your wedding shower or the silly selfies you took when you picked up your marriage license, you’ll remember not only the picture-perfect moments, but also the most meaningful ones. \n\n### Photos Taken by Guests\nDon’t limit yourself to professional photos when you’re creating your wedding memory book. Reach out to your wedding party and guests to get the best candid shots from before, during, and after the wedding. Did you have a photobooth? Include a few of your favorite photo strips from that, too. These organic shots will surely make you smile. \n\n### Vows\nWhether you wrote your own or not, you said vows for a reason, and they may be the most important thing to remember from your wedding. Include your vows or a handwritten copy in your memory book to remind you and your spouse what was at the very heart of the celebration—the commitment you made to one another.\n\n![What's a Wedding Memory Book?](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2Q9pxC4doRMArkqpurOUVo/6c096d9b005e99b15b5a681163f9807b/inline_unsplash__1_.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n### Speeches\nThe heartfelt words of friends and family members will be some of your most cherished memories from your wedding day and season. If you can, ask your MOH, best man, and anyone else who gave a speech you loved and appreciated for a copy of their words or a quote that you can include in your memory book. \n\n### Florals\nYou spent a lot of money on your florals, so there’s no reason they should only last for one day. When the petals begin to fall on your leftover arrangements, save them and dry them, or press them when they’re still fresh, and use them as decoration in your wedding memory book.\n\n### Stationery\nHold onto your invitations, save-the-dates, programs, menus, and any other stationery items from your wedding and include them in your memory book. They will remind you of important details like when and where your wedding was and what you ate, but will also reflect the theme and tone of your wedding. You can even use decorative stationery, like maps or envelope liners, as background patterns if you go with a wedding scrapbook format for your book.\n\n### Tokens\nYou can also include sentimental tokens from your wedding that you may not know what to do with, such as ribbon from your dress or bouquet, your garter, bow tie, handkerchief, etc. These items will add a personal touch to each page of the book. Plus, they’ll be kept safe in case they can be another bride’s “something borrowed” or “something old” down the line. \n\n### Cards\nWhen you look back on your wedding, the people who were there will be one of the sweetest memories. You’ll want to remember who attended your wedding and the cards you received are a great way to do so. Plus, you will be able to re-read the thoughtful messages they wrote and be reminded of how many people love and support you. \n\n### Love Story\nJust like the little details of your wedding day will fade away, so will the small moments that make up your love story up to this point. Did you write out your love story on your wedding website or program? Include that depiction, or write a new one, in your wedding memory book, so you will always be reminded of what led you to the altar. \n\n### Wedding Memory Book Styles\nThere are a variety of memory book styles to choose from. Depending on your personal taste and how much work you want to put into it, choose the one that suits you best. Here are a few of the most popular variations:\n\n### Keepsake Box \nConsidering so many of the elements to include in a wedding memory book are tangible items, a keepsake box is a great option for your wedding memory book. It will easily house photos, tokens, cards, and vow books all in one place. Plus, it removes the added work and stress of combining all the elements into one cohesive book. The con is that it’s less appealing to go through and less organized, but if you only want to revisit these memories from time to time, or you have way more mementos than you know what to do with, a keepsake box is perfect. \n\n### Scrapbook\nFor the DIY-savvy couple, a scrapbook is a sure way to hone your crafting skills and honor your wedding memories. You can pick up a beautiful album that ties into your home or wedding theme from a craft store or online; the options are endless, from wooden and lace binders to leather-bound books. \n\nOnce you have the book in your possession, have printed all your favorite photos, and collected the mementos you want to include, you can get to scrapbooking. The process in and of itself is time-consuming, but will let you relive all of your wedding memories. Once all is said and done, you’ll have a handcrafted memory book to look back on for years to come. \n\n### Semi-Custm Wedding Book\n\nIf creating a memory book from scratch doesn’t suit your busy schedule or you’re DIY-averse, you may want to consider a semi-custom memory book. You can find a variety of styles on Etsy that can be personalized but also come with pre-designed pages that make filling in the blanks easy. \n\nOpt for a monogrammed fabric-covered book complete with pages that help you tell the story of your wedding, from when and where showers were held to who was in the wedding party. There’s even space to include guest lists and family histories. \n\n### Digital Photo Book\nYou can also create a memory photo book digitally. If most of your photos are already on your phone or computer, this can be an easy and efficient way to go about it. If you have paper objects you want to include, such as written vows and stationery, you can still include them—you’ll just need to scan and upload them onto the digital platform in order to do so. If you choose to create a digital photobook and you have mementos you want to include, make sure you are able to add pages with pockets, so you have a place to put wedding memorabilia.\n\nA wedding memory book is one of the best ways to immortalize your wedding memories and pass them down to future generations. If you’re still in the throws of your engagement, now is the perfect time to start building your memory book. Add to it after each event to keep track of all the special memories from this season and make less work for yourself later.","tag":"Advice","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"We’ll walk you through the wedding album design process from start to finish with tips that will help you make all the right design decisions.","title":"How to Design the Ultimate Wedding Photo Book","slug":"how-to-design-the-ultimate-wedding-photo-book","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6WfkNzdqSPs5MnQq8TF7L9/2bf412d2993cbebd1d4a2aaea9da569e/hero_ToriMercedesphotography.jpg","altText":"design a wedding photo book"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"It’s not uncommon for a wedding photographer to include an engagement photo session in their packages. Here's how to make the most of those photos.\n","title":"12 Ways to Get The Most Out of Your Engagement Photos","slug":"how-to-get-most-out-of-your-engagement-photos","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Getting Engaged","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4DEuaFrXVcKgYHHKzYTPMa/ce4ad8cb1fd645069d15c4af106f045b/ErinJacksonPhotog.jpg","altText":"table with decoration pieces and Engagement Photo frame"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Protect your investment in professional photography by caring for your wedding photos properly. Here are the best ways to store both digital and physical copies. ","title":"How To Store Your Wedding Photos","slug":"how-to-store-your-wedding-photos","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4vU0T3oalHpzpj8Od6QZnu/a3556e7679cc6362e5e0604d70aeca87/inline_unsplash__1_.jpg","altText":"how to store wedding photos"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Do you want to create a wedding album yourself? We've got you covered! Continue reading to learn how to make your own wedding album online.","title":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album","slug":"how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XvW9gsQD7iIUS29r0VsFu/0117707c53a14d3c6b808ab19f1d3bae/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album"},"type":"articlePage"}],"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:29.639Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"post-wedding-blues","title":"Post-Wedding Blues Are Real—Here's 5 Ways to Beat Them","excerpt":"When the wedding planning and the wedding come to an end, many couples experience post-wedding blues. Here, an expert shares tips for finding happiness after your big day and moving past the post-wedding blues","author":"Deanna deBara","publishedAt":"2019-12-26T21:19:35.099Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7yPr9URdl8diXxH4hwUQkI/932165a53c55d3a5d6e134a563cf1d5f/1106_November_EA_Sceenshot_1_EA_article.jpg","altText":"couple getting married"},"heroCredit":"Zola","heroCreditUrl":"http://www.zola.com/wedding-vendors/wedding-photographers/jaine-kershner-photography","body":"There is so much that goes into planning a wedding. For months, couples are busy with events like [engagement photoshoots](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/what-to-wear-for-your-engagement-photos), [showers](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/invite-to-wedding-shower), vendor meetings, and [wedding dress shopping](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/what's-your-wedding-dress-style); crafty tasks like designing save-the-dates and choosing wedding decor, and planning wedding-related events, like the [post-wedding brunch](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/fun-post-wedding-brunch-invitation-ideas) or [mini-moon](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/what-is-a-mini-moon).\n\nSo, once the big day is over—and, along with it, all the wedding planning busyness—many [newlyweds](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged) find themselves dealing with a case of the post-wedding blues. After months of crossing off wedding checklist tasks and building excitement, the weeks after the wedding can feel a little empty—and can be seriously challenging to your mental health.\n\nDon’t worry! If you’re feeling a little sad post-wedding, it’s important to recognize that you’re not alone; the post wedding blues are it’s super common. And luckily, there are ways to cheer yourself up, enjoy married life, and channel all that wedding-related time and energy into something new, exciting, and positive.\n\n![INLINE RowlandPhotography 1080x720 Amanda&Mike](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7uHdGOdaUM368SoqmpxrW1/bd3ff435f521a70a3f5c9fc9f18727a3/INLINE_RowlandPhotography_1080x720_Amanda_Mike.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Rowland Photography\n\n## Why do couples experience the post-wedding blues?\nFor many, the process of planning a wedding can be a consuming process. The appointments, the phone calls, [the fittings](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/wedding-dress-alterations), the seating charts … it’s like all wedding, all the time—often for months at a time. Then, the big day comes and POOF! All of a sudden, this event that’s been occupying all of your time, energy, and headspace is over.\n\nAccording to Ohio-based licensed professional counselor (and new bride) Sarah Thompson, that sudden transition can be jarring for many. “It may sound outlandish, but this is a loss—and what we are experiencing is grief,” she says.\n\nThere’s also a neurological component at play. For many couples, their wedding day is one of the happiest and most joyful of their life. “When we experience joy and happiness our bodies are producing serotonin, dopamine … [and] other endorphins,” Thompson says. “The problem is when our brain experiences an overabundance of these chemicals, it tells our body to stop producing them.”\n\nSo, essentially, after the wedding day surge, some will actually have a slowdown in the production of all those feel-good endorphins. This can lead to feelings of sadness or depression, AKA the post-wedding blues.\n\n## How To Beat The Post-Wedding Blues\nClearly, the post-wedding blues is a real phenomenon. So, you’ll have to put real energy into coming back from the emotional downfall. \n\n### 1. Feel your feelings.\nIf you’re feeling sad after your “I do’s,” you might be tempted to push those sad feelings down and put on a happy face. (You did just get married, after all.) But if you really want to move past the post-wedding blues, that’s definitely not the way to do it.\n\nAcknowledging that you’re feeling the blues in the first place is a good first step. “These feelings need to be acknowledged, felt, talked about, and worked through or they’ll find their way out in some way,” Thompson says.\n\nPretending you’re not sad isn’t actually going to make you feel better. In fact, it could make you feel worse. If you’re sad, allow yourself to feel sad. If you want to cry, give yourself space to cry. Feeling your feelings—even the unpleasant ones—is a must if you want to work through them.\n\n### 2. Take care of yourself.\nAccording to Thompson, self-care is one of the best antidotes to the post-wedding blues.\n\nCarve out time to do the things that make you feel your best, whether that’s getting a monthly massage, kicking off your mornings with a yoga class, or scheduling a mani/pedi date with your BFF or partner. The more time and energy you [invest in self-care](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-handle-overbearing-parents-when-wedding-planning), the better you’ll feel—and the better you’ll be able to fight those post-wedding blues.\n\nIf you’re not used to the concept of self-care, this is the perfect time to get on board. Not only will developing a self-care routine help you combat your post-wedding blues, but when you take good care of yourself, it allows you to better show up for the people in your life—including your new spouse. “We need to make time and make [ourselves] a priority. We aren’t our best selves for others when we do not participate in some sort of self-care routine,” Thompson says.\n\n### 3. Enjoy your marriage.\nWith so much time and energy spent on the wedding, it can be easy to forget what’s really important in the long-term—and that’s your marriage.\n\nFocus on the post-wedding excitement that comes with getting to be married to your partner. “The best way I have found to channel my time and energy [post-wedding] has been taking time to enjoy just being married,” Thompson says. “Going to dinner or the movies, taking a short trip somewhere, focusing just on the two of us.”\n\nYour wedding was one of the best days of your life—but there are plenty more “best days” ahead in your marriage. So focus on enjoying them with your partner.\n\n![INLINE JoshRigsbyPhotography 1080x720 Sarah&Haley](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/LCVolymWAbTN8PKX9QY1V/a7028984537ca4c89725d5aa29f0774d/INLINE_JoshRigsbyPhotography_1080x720_Sarah_Haley.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Josh Rigsby Photography\n\n### 4. Plan fun events with your partner.\nWedding planning takes up so much time and energy—but knowing that you have your wedding to look forward to makes it all worth it.\n\nBut when your wedding is over, not only do you all of a sudden have all that free time and energy back, but you also don’t have your big day to look forward to anymore. It can feel like a bit of a let down.\n\nLuckily, you can remedy that feeling by putting your time and energy into creating new things to look forward to with your partner—or, in other words, filling your calendar with fun events. For example, you and your partner might take turns planning bi-weekly date nights—or you might dedicate some time and effort to planning an anniversary trip to celebrate your first year of marriage. \n\nThe point is, you spent a lot of time planning and looking forward to your wedding—and if you want to beat the post-wedding blues, you should start planning and looking forward to other things with your spouse.\n\n### 5. Take a break from social media.\nSocial media is a great place to share your wedding photos and preserve those memories for years to come. But if you’ve been spending hours every day scrolling through your wedding photos and feeling sad, it may be time to take a step back from your social media accounts.\n\nCommit to taking a break from social media—or, if that’s unrealistic, limiting the time you spend looking at your wedding photos. Then, repurpose that time into something that makes you happy—whether that’s taking a daily walk with your partner or tackling a new hobby.\n\nIt doesn’t have to be forever, but while you’re experiencing the post-wedding blues, taking a step back from social media (and all the wedding photos that live there!) can be a great step in supporting your mental health.\n\n## Starting a new project? Proceed with caution.\nIf your instinct is to replace wedding planning with another major project (like launching a new business or [getting a puppy](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/8-ways-to-keep-family-involved-in-wedding-traditions-during-the-ceremony)), it could be a great way to channel your time and energy, but proceed with caution.\n\n“Jumping into a new big project could be fine for some, and counter-productive for others,” Thompson says. “A new, exciting project could be a great way to … be excited about the future. When this could be counterproductive, though, is when it’s being used as a distraction to our feelings or a sole means to solve the problem [of post-wedding blues].”\n\nSo, if you’re making major life changes like buying a new home or looking for a new job because it’s something you truly want, it can be a great way to transition to your new post-wedding life. But if you’re doing it just because you need to build a new life to fill the void left by wedding planning or to avoid your feelings of post-wedding sadness? Not the best idea.\n\n## Still struggling? Ask for help.\nThe post-wedding blues is a completely normal experience that plenty of brides and grooms experience. If you find that you can’t shake your sadness—or it’s getting in the way of living your life and enjoying your marriage—make sure to reach out and ask for help.\n\n“If these feelings just will not subside, it’s best not to ignore them—there could be something more going on,” Thompson says. “Talk to your physician or make an appointment with a local therapist.”","tag":"How-To ","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n","title":"10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed","slug":"10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7ouLurjdpXyrD5Wf448iu6/e0004f2020a3752a6fb4e111f3431d4e/pexels-hong-son-5542265.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Now that your married, your taxes will change. Get started and keep it simple with our top three tax tips for newlyweds.","title":"3 Tax Changes Newlyweds Need to Make ","slug":"tax-changes-newlyweds-need-to-make","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4gY9UJXfEZ0TgCOomBz8Gp/8c8cbc1d73fc19228ce80506f5e7ac8a/3-Tax-Changes-Newlyweds-Need-to-Make.jpg","altText":"newlyweds prepare for taxes"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"The thank-you notes are mailed, the honeymoon is over, and you and your partner are finally starting your lives together. Buying your first home is a major hurdle, but with some smart planning, you can land the home of your dreams and stay within your budget.","title":"Best Ways To Start Saving For Your First Home Together","slug":"best-ways-to-save-for-your-first-home-together","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Finances","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/70KKW81Cmcfz9HH1mctp8L/1c3d41a8e0b33477e944659ea2ba3027/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"happy couple first dance "},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"Traditionally, first year anniversary gifts fall into the paper theme. Make paper feel special and valuable with our picks for the best paper first year anniversary gifts.","title":"First Year Anniversary Gifts That Make Paper Feel Special","slug":"first-year-anniversary-gifts","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/15niRmv2ew4mXPccG8wJpH/767aa5aa99190c860a13e515ff83c26e/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"bride and groom celebrate wedding day outside"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"From small expenses to big-picture financial decisions, here's how you and your new spouse can build your best budget together.","title":"Here's How To Build Your Best-Ever Newlywed Budget","slug":"building-newlywed-budget-guide-to-do","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Budgeting","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1yvX42mC46GPKPGoxcAj0R/53ed4452ffc93ab0dc692a02e16cdf39/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Grooms Wedding Portrait"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Thinking about changing your last name? Here's everything you need to know when considering a name change after marriage. Learn more. ","title":"How to Change Your Name After Marriage","slug":"name-change-after-marriage","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2UlzQwVNOBk0iBDemf4u21/bb0251294f8cadb7419bd7abf85b6234/How-to-Change-Your-Name-After-Marriage-V2.jpg","altText":"zola couple plans for name change "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Moving in with your SO? Here's how to combine your things and move in together—free of fighting, stress, or giving up your favorite stuff.\n","title":"How to Combine Your Things and Move In Together","slug":"how-to-combine-your-things-and-move-in-together","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6WgkSw4Pnjathj7alsusn2/e7a324622168f05a0d343a8778eaabee/How-to-Combine-your-Things-and-Move-in-Together.jpg","altText":"men combine things and move in together"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:27.493Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"how-to-create-your-wedding-album-in-10-minutes","title":"How to Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes","excerpt":"Wedding album planning just became a whole lot easier with Zola’s Album Wizard.","author":"Jane Chertoff","publishedAt":"2021-04-11T23:58:56.576Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/23Hqv1qcpWialgg5Uh9aPo/357f44e39859b2cd329e94381933b9f8/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"The beautiful photos from your wedding should be cherished forever. (And displayed for the world, not hidden on a digital drive on your computer!)\n\nWhen it’s time to create your [wedding album](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop), don’t stress too much, though. You don’t need to spend endless hours or even months on the project. Creating your wedding album is about picking and choosing your favorites and getting them organized in a seamless way. \n\nTo make the process as easy as can be, Zola's Album Wizard can help you create your lasting keepsake in no time. Here’s how to put everything together in just 10 minutes. \n\n### 1. Choose the Layout and Format That Speaks to You\nChoose the album cover color, cover material, and size of the book that you think would work best displayed in your home. Then pick a photo layout that matches your unique style. Keep it fun and playful with photo collages or more formal with full-page displays. Or, go for a mix of the two. \n\n### 2. Upload Your Photos \nYou probably have hundreds of photos to work with. Upload them to the photo wizard, so you can sort easily and choose your favorite moments. \n\n*Note: The number of photos below are only suggestions—you may want to include more or less of each moment of the day, depending on what’s important to you. If you’re doing a collage format for all, or part, of the book, you can include more photos per page, too.* \n\n![210427 Zola Album3](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4NjzYMJU4zSiwqC4OgLmRs/ade9475218c14639d9d57846c413e09a/210427_Zola_Album3.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Zola\n\n### 3. Set the Scene (2-6 photos) \nTo open the album, choose a few photos from your wedding venue or location that set the scene for the day. Did someone capture the sunrise, sunset, a passing thunderstorm, or even a rainbow? Include those. \n\n### 4 Getting Ready (6-15 photos) \nNext up: Getting ready shots. These often look great in a collage format, as they capture things that happened behind the scenes and a less formal look at your family and friends. \n\n### 5. First Look (5-10 photos) \nYour first look is such a fun detail to include in your album. Include a few of your favorites shots of the two lovebirds together here. \n\n### 6. Details Photos (4-12 photos)\nYou can include a few photos that show the details of the venue, the flowers, table setting, and ceremony site here. \n\n![Zola 10.27.20 Photo Albums9160](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/13POwQcUJmq5xUzpzKQsUW/8af99670a19a59670cc8c1b12a63630a/Zola_10.27.20_Photo_Albums9160.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Zola\n\n### 7. Family and Wedding Party Portraits (6-16 photos) \nChoose your favorite family and wedding party shots and include them next. \n\n### 8. Ceremony (10-15 photos) \nInclude all the highlights of when you got hitched, including walking down the aisle, your vows, the kiss, and that legendary single tear. \n\n### 9. Cocktail Hour (4-12 photos) \nPick your favorite post-ceremony celebratory moments and include them here. \n\n### 10. Reception (15-25 photos) \nThe reception photos should include the toasts, dance floor shots, favorite photos of family and friends, cutting the cake, and any other special traditions or moments you want to include. \n\n### 11. Send-Off (2-4 photos) \nClose out the album with your grand exit. \n\n### 12. Review \nNow that you’ve picked out your favorites, be sure to review the layout and confirm you’re happy with how everything looks. \n\n*__Tip:__ You may want to make some photos in black and white for a dramatic effect, or make them full-page spreads instead of smaller photos, depending on how you want the final product to look.* \n\n### 13. Order and Print \nOnce you’re happy with the final layout, you’re ready to order and print. \n\n*Use Zola’s [Album Wizard](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop) to create the album of your dreams in no time and with no tears shed, except, of course, for the ones you may cry looking back at your gorgeous day. *","tag":"How To","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Do you want to create a wedding album yourself? We've got you covered! Continue reading to learn how to make your own wedding album online.","title":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album","slug":"how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XvW9gsQD7iIUS29r0VsFu/0117707c53a14d3c6b808ab19f1d3bae/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Wedding photos encapsulate the emotions and memories of your special day. Learn about wedding photographer costs and packages to find the perfect match for your needs.","title":"How Much Does a Wedding Photographer Cost in 2023? ","slug":"how-much-does-a-wedding-photographer-cost","topic":"Venues & vendors","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/67CxDAxXCS4YT36KeeGL30/3dd71b4c82dfe7a9233bc254c7576a9d/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"average wedding photographer cost"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"An engagement photo book is a beautiful way to put part of your love story on display. Here are the best ways to go about creating it and what you can use it for. ","title":"Engagement Photo Book: Tips + 10 Ideas","slug":"engagement-photobook-ideas","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/AFlb9Hj2YwReCIgaWl72P/f323f32abe002e4fe4796396dc01f5e6/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Engagement Photo book Ideas"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Wanting to show off your wedding photos in cool, not-so-typical ways? Check out our latest list of unique wedding album ideas.","title":"12 Unique Wedding Album Ideas","slug":"12-unique-wedding-album-ideas","topic":"Venues & vendors","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5heO7kNUjDpTNd7LpS9KOC/570699b76951c7ea2d780c9c346879e2/inline_shutterstock_1_.png","altText":"Unique Wedding Album Ideas"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n","title":"10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed","slug":"10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7ouLurjdpXyrD5Wf448iu6/e0004f2020a3752a6fb4e111f3431d4e/pexels-hong-son-5542265.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Now that your married, your taxes will change. Get started and keep it simple with our top three tax tips for newlyweds.","title":"3 Tax Changes Newlyweds Need to Make ","slug":"tax-changes-newlyweds-need-to-make","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4gY9UJXfEZ0TgCOomBz8Gp/8c8cbc1d73fc19228ce80506f5e7ac8a/3-Tax-Changes-Newlyweds-Need-to-Make.jpg","altText":"newlyweds prepare for taxes"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Traditionally, first year anniversary gifts fall into the paper theme. Make paper feel special and valuable with our picks for the best paper first year anniversary gifts.","title":"First Year Anniversary Gifts That Make Paper Feel Special","slug":"first-year-anniversary-gifts","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/15niRmv2ew4mXPccG8wJpH/767aa5aa99190c860a13e515ff83c26e/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"bride and groom celebrate wedding day outside"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Today’s couples are craving experiences instead of gifts. Our date ideas are fabulous to add to your wedding registry to make memories with your love.","title":"12 Fabulous Date Ideas to Put on Your Registry","slug":"12-fabulous-date-ideas-to-put-on-your-registry","topic":"Registry & gifts","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5XFbyLUjyLaqT7gm3RrHDI/8a01b731d6339621e591c9e2915835bd/hannah-busing-zhDREn4OqY8-unsplash.jpg","altText":"Date Ideas to Put on Your Registry"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:25.897Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"moving-in-together-after-marriage","title":"7 Tips for Moving in Together After Marriage ","excerpt":"If you’ve never lived together before marriage, moving in can be an adjustment. Here are expert tips on how to communicate, set boundaries, and enjoy your newlywed home.","author":"McCall Minnor","publishedAt":"2020-01-14T21:03:24.409Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3j8BVCfLTf3DR2YhPciwcA/084910eab3e960e055782787ea631353/7-Tips-for-Moving-in-Together-after-marriage.jpg","altText":"newlyweds move in together"},"heroCredit":"Unsplash","body":"Weddings signify the start of a life together as a married couple—and that reality sets in as soon as you move in together. Between waking up next to your spouse every day, cooking meals together and [decorating a shared space](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-get-most-out-of-your-engagement-photos), living with your partner takes your relationship to the next level. You’re not just dating anymore; you’re married and building a home. \n\nWhile it’s true that [more Americans are living together before marriage](https://bedbible.com/length-of-dating-before-marriage-statistics/) today than in the past, there’s still a decent portion of the population who wait to cohabitate until after they say “I do.” If that includes you, read on to learn how to ease the transition from newlyweds to roommates.\n\n![INLINE Unsplash 1080x720](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6D4vVrR5YInJ4XU6hb8KtN/419b6fefd613bca87c1f0f82e96e270f/INLINE_Unsplash_1080x720.png)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## Consider the timing.\nMoving in together for the first time is no casual exercise. Packing up your respective homes and [unloading your belongings in a new place](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-combine-your-things-and-move-in-together) takes time, effort and energy. That’s why you likely want to avoid any heavy lifting during the week of your wedding.\n\nBasically, don’t move in together right before your big day. You’ll likely be dealing with last-minute wedding details. And, you also want to give yourself a few days post-wedding to relax before getting to work.\n\nDepending on whether you are moving into your partner’s home, they are moving into yours, or you’re moving into a new place altogether, think about the most convenient time to do so. Maybe you want to move in right after your honeymoon, or the week after your wedding. Whatever you decide, organization and communication are key.\n\n__Ease the Transition:__ Try to prepare by slowly packing up your items weeks before the move to reduce stress. If your husband or wife is moving into your place, make room for their belongings. Time will also give you both an opportunity to go through your things and decide what will come into your shared home, and what won’t. \n\n## Get ready to learn new things about your spouse.\nYou may have been together for years, but when you move in with your spouse for the first time, you learn things about them you didn’t know before—both good and bad.\n\nYou might soon discover, for example, just how often they leave dirty dishes in the sink. Or your partner may come to realize that your long hair really does clog every bathroom drain… oops. \n\nSchedules may not perfectly align either. You might prefer to wake up at 6 a.m. and head to the gym, while your spouse works on their computer until midnight. As with so many newlywed matters: the key is open communication. \n\n__Ease the Transition:__ If something starts to bother you, talk about it. This is the first time the two of you have shared a home together, so it’s understandable there may be an adjustment period. You also need to be prepared to meet in the middle. \n\n## Talk money.\nMoney is a huge part of any relationship, and [couples need to be on the same page when it comes to finances](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged). Between bills, paying off a mortgage, and household expenses, moving in with a spouse comes with a bunch of financial responsibilities.\n\n__Ease the transition:__ It’s important to talk about money openly, honestly and regularly. Ideally, before moving in together, you should have a conversation about your financial status: \n - Are you bringing debt into the relationship? \n - What are your financial goals? \n - Should you open a [joint bank account](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/joint-bank-account) to split costs or jointly save for retirement?\n\nWhen it comes to paying bills on time, a shared Google calendar can help both of you keep track of who is paying what and when. \n\n## Divide responsibilities. \nIf one of you enjoys doing laundry while the other can’t stand folding, lean into your strengths and divvy up household duties based on them. For chores that neither of you enjoys, like cleaning the bathroom, for example, take turns. \n\nThe goal with dividing responsibilities is not to keep a tally of how much each person is contributing, but rather to ensure that the important things are getting done and you’re both happy with the way the household is running. \n\n__Ease the Transition:__ Clear responsibilities also help field any resentment. Of course you need to work as teammates and take on additional tasks from time to time, but having a clear idea of who typically handles what is important. \n\n## Make your house your home. \nFill your place with photos of you as a couple, hang art that you like, and decorate in a way that feels natural to both of you. You want to create a home that is a reflection of your relationship. \n\nIt’s also important to create your own traditions and celebrate milestones, like your first holiday season as a married couple. \n\n__Ease the Transition:__ Hosting a housewarming party is a great way to welcome loved ones into your new space. \n\n![INLINE Unsplash 1080x720 (3)](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5oaa0EYMMqVrzgm8T3Wsd/df99ef205b3fe944fafb7c3dc2fe3364/INLINE__Unsplash_1080x720__3_.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## Communicate openly. \nAfter living together for a few months you’ll learn what makes you tick—and when to pick your battles. It’s easy to become annoyed when you come home and the place is a mess, but before starting an argument, try to communicate what bothers you and why. \n\nIf you’re used to living alone, suddenly having someone around 24/7 can take some time getting used to. While you’re obviously over the moon to be living with your spouse, every person has their boundaries and needs downtime. It’s OK to want to spend time alone or feel the need to get out of the house. \n\n__Ease the Transition:__ Talking openly also means discussing the not-so-fun stuff, like what should happen to your shared property if someone dies, for example. While these situations are often hypothetical, it’s important to be on the same page. \n\nNow that you’re married and living together, you’ll also want to have life insurance and a will. (For a full list of things you should do as a newlywed, [read here](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed).)\n\n## Schedule date nights.\nJust because you’re now married and living together doesn’t mean you should stop scheduling quality bonding time. It’s very easy to let date night fall to the wayside after a busy week at work, especially when watching a movie on the couch is so tempting. \n\nMake an effort to be present. Even when you and your spouse are together, be sure that you’re not both scrolling on your phones. \n\n__Ease the Transition:__ Quality time means living in the moment and doing something enjoyable. Sign up for a couples’ cooking class or check out a new band. Whatever you decide to do for date night, make sticking to those plans a priority. \n\nMoving in with your spouse for the first time can be a shock for both parties. Living with anyone has a learning curve, but the pressure is even higher to make it work with someone you just said “I do” to. \n\nWith a lot of love, a bit of compromise, and some of the tips we outlined above, living with your spouse can be the happiest time of your life. ","tag":"Inspiration","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_WeddingBoutique"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n","title":"10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed","slug":"10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7ouLurjdpXyrD5Wf448iu6/e0004f2020a3752a6fb4e111f3431d4e/pexels-hong-son-5542265.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Now that your married, your taxes will change. Get started and keep it simple with our top three tax tips for newlyweds.","title":"3 Tax Changes Newlyweds Need to Make ","slug":"tax-changes-newlyweds-need-to-make","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4gY9UJXfEZ0TgCOomBz8Gp/8c8cbc1d73fc19228ce80506f5e7ac8a/3-Tax-Changes-Newlyweds-Need-to-Make.jpg","altText":"newlyweds prepare for taxes"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Finances aren't always the most fun to talk about—but they are necessary, especially for newlyweds. Find out what newlywed finance talks to focus on and how to make the money talk feel easier.","title":"5 Finance Topics Newlyweds Need to Discuss Post-Wedding","slug":"newlywed-finance-discuss-basics","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1ASdp0oY4St83qsQ8l2w6l/632b713007f402c7b446e15010336fc0/5-Finance-Topics-Newlyweds-Need-to-Discuss-Post-Wedding.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple talks finances "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"To learn how to save money together for the future, read these expert tips on merging finances with your spending-partner-for-life.","title":"Are You Ready For A Joint Bank Account?","slug":"joint-bank-account","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Finances","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/55sTThfMEg96vD9f633Lov/dfca254413a76d6d4b586098359702eb/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Are You Ready For A Joint Bank Account?"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"Thinking about changing your last name? Here's everything you need to know when considering a name change after marriage. Learn more. ","title":"How to Change Your Name After Marriage","slug":"name-change-after-marriage","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2UlzQwVNOBk0iBDemf4u21/bb0251294f8cadb7419bd7abf85b6234/How-to-Change-Your-Name-After-Marriage-V2.jpg","altText":"zola couple plans for name change "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Traditionally, first year anniversary gifts fall into the paper theme. Make paper feel special and valuable with our picks for the best paper first year anniversary gifts.","title":"First Year Anniversary Gifts That Make Paper Feel Special","slug":"first-year-anniversary-gifts","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/15niRmv2ew4mXPccG8wJpH/767aa5aa99190c860a13e515ff83c26e/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"bride and groom celebrate wedding day outside"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"From small expenses to big-picture financial decisions, here's how you and your new spouse can build your best budget together.","title":"Here's How To Build Your Best-Ever Newlywed Budget","slug":"building-newlywed-budget-guide-to-do","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Budgeting","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1yvX42mC46GPKPGoxcAj0R/53ed4452ffc93ab0dc692a02e16cdf39/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Grooms Wedding Portrait"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Learn how wedding insurance can protect you from unforeseeable mishaps or accidents. Read about different policies and decide what’s right for your wedding. \n","title":"Wedding Insurance Resources for the Happy Couple","slug":"wedding-insurance-resources-for-the-happy-couple","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3ht4cNlU3Y9NUPDoZE51ZI/0acb31dd70c7d48bbd36b395a7dc5300/Hero_New_IntimateElopementWeddingatSanFranciscoCityHall_StudioOpia.jpg","altText":"Couple walking together in field"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Explore Wedding Paper","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding-planning/invitations/shop"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:25.150Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"newlyweds-buy-first-car-tips","title":"5 Tips For Newlyweds Buying Their First Car","excerpt":"Your little coupe or well-traveled truck might have been perfect for your single life. But after you say “I do,” you and your partner might be ready for a car that fits both your needs—and your future family’s, too.","publishedAt":"2019-04-23T16:09:49.706Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6zgiOE1VLUiMUekjhICKSv/016d0d3a232ba4a11e7ce6c9bb8cdc52/Couple_In_the_Rain.jpg","altText":"Couple In the Rain Wedding First Car "},"heroCredit":"Creatrix Photography","heroCreditUrl":"https://www.zola.com/inspiration/wedding-photographers/creatrix-photography--2","body":"---\n*__Sponsored Content. We may earn compensation if you click the links or buttons below.__*\n\n---\n","tag":"Finances","sponsorCta":{"copy":"Get Started","url":"https://hifiona.com/zola/loans"},"sponsorName":"Fiona","sponsorAbout":"*Fiona is the fastest, easiest, most comprehensive way to search loans, credit cards and savings accounts from the top providers. Fiona is created and powered by Even, the leading search, comparison and recommendation engine for financial services.*\n","sponsoredBottomContent":"Your little coupe or well-traveled truck might have been perfect for your single life. But after you say “I do,” you and your partner might be ready for a car that fits both your needs—and your future family’s, too.\n \nChoosing a car can be a totally intimidating process. Armed with some research, you and your partner can confidently find a car that fits your needs and your budget.\n \n## Do some research\nExplore online together to decide what kind of car you’re looking for. Are you looking for a new car, or is a used car okay? What make and model will be most reliable? Talk to your friends and family about what cars they’d recommend. You and your partner might be looking for additional financing to purchase your new ride. Shop around and [compare options online](https://hifiona.com/zola/loans) the first funding option you find might not always be the best one.\n \n## Make a budget plan\nDiscuss with your partner an amount that you feel comfortable spending each month. In addition to car payments, factor in fuel, insurance, and maintenance. Then see how much your total monthly cost of ownership would be for the car of your dreams. [Online platforms like Fiona](https://hifiona.com/zola/loans) can give you personalized loan options for your credit score and income to help you plan out your monthly budget.\n \n## Layout your financial priorities\nMake a list of the essential features and what you’re willing to live without. Are heated seats a priority or a nice bonus? While it’s smart to save, you really want to end up with a car you’re happy with, so you’re not repeating this whole process in a year or two. Most auto loans are for five or six years, but some banks offer loans that take longer to pay off. Get together as a couple to decide what your priorities are: are you looking for smaller monthly payments, or would you rather pay it off quickly?\n \n## Combine auto insurance\nAs a couple, you might be able to save with one insurance policy—you’ll get a discount for insuring multiple vehicles at once. Bundling home and auto coverage might get you additional discounts, depending on the insurance company. Combined policies are also just more convenient, with less paperwork and one online portal to manage.\n \nA head’s up: if your partner has a less-than-stellar driving record, it’ll affect your insurance rate too. Most insurance policies want everyone in the household listed on the policy.\n \n## Decide together\nYour partner might want a lot of horsepower, while you want a lot of space for the kids. Talk about both your day-to-day needs and the long run. Does a Mini Cooper, no matter how cute, really fit your lifestyle? Take a test drive and be willing to compromise to find a car that fits both your needs and your budget.\n \nWith customized loan options, the Fiona platform can help you drive off into the sunset in your dream car. Fiona makes it easy to compare auto loans and find the best offers. [Explore special offers for Zola customers today.](https://hifiona.com/zola/loans) \n","sponsorLogoImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/15CJRIOOon1n9svRT7ARwp/240f876676dee9536ddb37131d31e9e2/fiona-logo_2_resize_.png","altText":"Fiona"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:24.359Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"most-popular-wedding-album-sizes","title":"Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes","excerpt":"Ready to put your wedding photos in an album? Here are the most popular wedding album sizes for couples, as well as factors that can determine which wedding album size you choose. ","author":"Monica Mercuri","publishedAt":"2021-09-29T16:24:40.721Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XHDKrOJzcr3yLqekKEw0r/c5160c723144c6f91387fb9d3f55de34/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"As soon as the wedding day is over, couples can’t wait to see the pictures from their special day. [Wedding photographers](https://www.zola.com/wedding-vendors/search/wedding-photographers) know how excited newlyweds are, and often aim to get the digital files to them as soon as possible. These “preview” shots are perfect for sharing on social media or sending to guests right away.\n\nBut when you get all your photos back, chances are you’ll want to store them in a [wedding album](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop). That’s where knowing the most popular wedding album sizes comes in handy. \n\nHere’s what you’ll find in this informative article: \n\n- Part 1: Wedding Album Details 101\n- Part 2: How to Decide on the Right Wedding Album Size for You\n- Part 3: Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes\n- Part 4: Unique Wedding Album Alternatives \n\n### Do I Really Need to Think About Wedding Album Sizes? \n\nIf you plan on having photos of your beautiful wedding day printed and displayed in a wedding album, then yes, you need to think about wedding album sizes. There are different orientations, sizes, and page counts to be aware of, and the process of knowing what wedding album size is right for you can be overwhelming. After all, a wedding album is (hopefully) something you’re going to have your entire life, so you want to make the right decision. Plus, deciding on the wedding album size is a vital step in the process—you can’t start without it. \n\n## Part 1: Wedding Album Details 101 \n\nBefore we get into the most popular wedding album sizes and which one is right for you, it’s important to know wedding album details 101. What are wedding albums, how much do they cost, how many photos go in a wedding album, and who designs them is all in this guide. \n\n### What Are Wedding Albums?\n\nWedding albums are special keepsakes to hold your wedding photographs safe. After you get your wedding photos back from the photographer, it’s time to sit down and select which photos you want to put in your wedding album. Because wedding photographers often take hundreds of photos, not every single one will make the cut. But the must-have shots, including your first kiss and first dance, deserve to have a permanent home. \n\nA wedding album is also important because it lets you keep an organized album to pass along to future generations. Sitting down and reliving the best memories from your big day is easy to do when you have a hard copy of your favorite pics in front of you. \n\n### How Much Do Wedding Albums Cost?\n\nThe cost of wedding albums depends on various factors including size, page count, cover material, and paper quality. Wedding albums can cost anywhere from $150 to $1,000, whereas a wedding photo book can cost much less. Not sure what the difference is [between wedding photo albums and wedding photo books](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-much-do-wedding-albums-cost-zola)? \n\nWedding albums are often created with thicker paper that lays flat when opened, whereas books are designed with thinner paper. Because wedding books typically have thinner paper, you may be able to hold more photos in your keepsake than you would with an album. Albums also are often a bit more durable and elaborate, meaning they can cost more than a book. \n\n### How Many Photos Go in Wedding Albums? \n\nAgain, this depends. Wedding albums typically start with at least 20 to 30 album pages, which allows for anywhere from two to six photos a page, depending on size and layout. Some couples opt to have one photo spread across two pages. Here at [Zola](http://zola.com/), our popular wedding albums start at 20 album pages over 10 spreads, but the average wedding album length is 40 pages.\n\nA general rule of thumb? The size of your wedding album should correlate with the length of your wedding. So, for example, if you’re having a small intimate affair, you may not need as big of a wedding album. But if you have a destination wedding or multi-day affair, you may need a 90-page album to account for all of the shots that you want to include. \n\n### Can I Design My Own Wedding Album?\n\nOf course you can. Here at Zola we make the [wedding album design process](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop) easy and fun. On our wedding album site, you can customize the style, page count, size, and color of your custom wedding album and then use templates to design the perfect layout. While you can order a [wedding album in less than 30 minutes](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-create-your-wedding-album-in-10-minutes), we recommend putting aside two to three hours to pick out your favorite pictures and lay them into the best design for you. \n\n### How Do You Organize a Wedding Album? \n\nYou want to [decide which photos you absolutely need in your wedding album](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album) and go from there. Once you make a shortlist of your wedding photos, then you can narrow down the photos for your custom wedding album from there. \n\nThere are photos that should certainly make your album, including getting ready shots, first look photos, family group shots, and a snap of the entire wedding party. You also want to include your first kiss, a few portraits from your newlywed session (right after you say “I do!”), and candid pics from your reception. Depending on the [type of wedding photography](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-take-authentic-engagement-photos) you go with—like traditional, candid or documentary—you may have more or less of various types of shots.\n\n### How Many Wedding Albums Do I Need?\n\nThis comes down to personal preference and budget. Some couples order multiple copies of their wedding album, so they have one for display and another for safekeeping, or one for family members, including the parents. Other times, couples simply order one wedding album for themselves and keep it on display or keep it in a special location for viewing. \n\nAgain, budget and personal needs will determine how many wedding albums you need. Another option is to order a full wedding album for yourself and then a smaller one for your parents or grandparents, should they wish to have one. Because wedding albums are customizable on Zola, you can add pages to your book with ease. \n\n## Part 2: How to Decide on the Right Wedding Album Size for You \n\nHere are some important things you need to consider when choosing a wedding album size.\n\n### Budget\n\nLike all wedding-related costs, [budget](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/topic/planning-101/budgeting) is often a key determining factor. (If you are in the wedding planning process now and [haven’t yet started a budget, get on that ASAP](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-start-creating-a-wedding-budget-right-now)!) When budgeting for your actual wedding day, most couples forget to account for the after-event extras, like the cost of wedding photo albums. This is easy to do, so it’s important you account for any post-wedding costs in your original budget. If you’ve [gone over budget already](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/5-ways-cut-wedding-costs) (it happens a lot!) here are some tips for getting back on track. \n\nAs we said, [wedding albums can cost](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-much-do-wedding-albums-cost-zola) anywhere from $150 to $1,000, depending on the quality, amount of detail, page count, and cover material. If you want a high-quality wedding album, we suggest putting aside $150 to $350 for a nice album that won’t disappoint or entirely break the bank. When it comes to photo albums, it’s always a good idea to allocate more budget than you think you might need, as you may end up wanting to add additional pages to your album once you get your photographs back. You can also [register for a gift card for Zola’s wedding albums](https://www.zola.com/wedding-registry), so guests have the option of giving you this keepsake. \n\n### Amount of Photos \n\nThe right size of your wedding album depends on the amount of photos you plan to put in the keepsake. If you had an intimate event and only selected 40 photographs to print, you might be okay with a 20-page album. On the other hand, if your wedding spanned over several days, or you had multiple ceremonies or receptions, you’re going to need a 70 to 80-page premium album of a larger size like a landscape option of 10 x 8 inches or 14 x 11 inches.\n\nSome couples think they need to include every photo taken in their wedding album, but that’s not the case. In fact, your wedding album should be a curated selection and help tell the story of your big day in chronological order. How to choose photos for your wedding album isn’t always easy, but we have [tips on how to do so](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album).\n\n### Personal Style \n\nThe size of your wedding album depends on your personal style and what design you’re looking for. Some couples want to keep it classic and go with minimalist designs, whereas other couples may want a more premium album. Material, size, and cost are all factors that may influence your style choice, too. \n\nYou might want to pick a wedding album that reflects the style of your wedding or your wedding theme. For example, if you had a destination wedding in Hawaii, you might go with a hand-painted album cover that has hibiscus motifs, whereas if you had a lux winter wedding, you might want a velvet-covered album that evokes a warm and cozy feel. Some albums also only come in specific sizes, like our [Deluxe Wedding Album](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/select?album_type=deluxe), so it’s important to go with a look that also has the page count you’re looking for. \n\n### Photographer’s Style \n\nYour [wedding photographer’s personal style](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-take-authentic-engagement-photos) may affect which wedding album you go for. If your photographer took a lot of landscape shots, you might choose a wedding album that matches that orientation, like a 10 x 8-inch album. On the other hand, if you end up choosing mostly portraits, a 10 x 10-inch album may do the trick. You can always play with Zola’s wedding album layout tool to see which design best works with your photo choices. \n\n## Part 3: Most Popular Wedding Album Sizes \n\nOnce you’ve determined exactly what you need for your wedding album, you can make a more educated decision about what size of album you need. As a general rule, the larger the wedding album, the higher the cost. It’s also important to know that you can add pages to your wedding album, so if you want a 40-page 8 x 8-inch album, that can easily be done. Customization is always possible when it comes to wedding albums.\n\nHere are the most popular wedding album sizes.\n\n### 8×8 inches\n\nThe classic 8 x 8-inch wedding photo album is square in its shape and the average length is 40 pages. This is the most popular small-size wedding album, and comes in a variety of materials, colors, and designs. Many vendors stock this size wedding album, so you’ll have no trouble finding this size either in-person or online. Zola’s [classic](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/select?album_type=classic) and [premier](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/select?album_type=premier) wedding albums both come in this size in linen and vegan leather options, respectively. \n\nThis size is also ideal if you want to have your wedding album on permanent display on a bookshelf or on a smaller coffee table. It isn’t too bulky or large, meaning it’s a convenient size for storing, too. \n\n### 10×10 inches\n\nAnother popular wedding album size is the classic 10 x 10-inch album. You can safely fit four pictures per layout in this design. This size option is ideal for couples who want something a tad bigger than 8 x 8 inches, but don’t want a large-format album. It’s also a square format, and is one of the most popular sizes for wedding albums here at Zola. Because the front of your wedding album can be customized with foil text, for example, this size offers a bit more room for getting names and/or wedding date on the front.\n\n### 12×12 inches \n\nThe largest option in the square-size wedding album family, a 12 x 12-inch album can typically fit up to six images per layout. This format is great for couples who want to include more photos without bulking up the page count in their wedding album. This size wedding album allows for creativity when it comes to photo layouts, while also letting couples play with full-page spreads. In other words, this size is ideal for those who have lots of pictures to share. Both portrait and landscape photos work well in this wedding album. \n\nIt’s important to note, however, that 12 x 12-inch styles are larger albums, so they may not fit on all bookshelves easily.\n\n### 10x8 inches\n\nLandscape wedding albums typically come in two sizes, one of which is 10 x 8 inches—the most popular smaller option. This size is ideal for couples who may have more landscape photos to include in their album, or want to include a few double-page spreads. If you’re going with a deluxe wedding album, Zola’s deluxe creations do not come in this size. Both Zola’s classic and premier wedding albums do, though. \n\n### 14x11 inches\n\n14 x 11 inches is the most popular large landscape wedding album. This size is more like a scrapbook size and is suitable for couples who had multi-day weddings or more than one celebration. With this option, you can play with tons of layouts, as it easily allows for portrait, landscape, and full-page spreads. If you’re looking for the biggest size without going over the top, 14 x 11 inches may be the right option for you. \n\n## Part 4: Unique Wedding Album Alternatives \n\nIf you’re unsure of what to do with your wedding photos or if you want to order a wedding album, no sweat—we have ideas for you. Here are some unique wedding album alternative ideas, from wall prints to homemade scrapbooks. (For couples who are debating the wedding album route, check out this article on [unique wedding album ideas](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/12-unique-wedding-album-ideas).) \n\n### #1 Scrapbook\n\nNot all of us are crafty, but for those of us who are, creating your own [DIY wedding scrapbook](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/14-stylish-wedding-scrapbook-ideas) is a fun and creative option. Scrapbooks allow you to display your wedding photos and create your own layouts, while also letting you add wedding day details, including cards from guests, a copy of your menu, or vows or speeches. Wedding scrapbooks take wedding albums to the next level. They’re also a fun and unique wedding album alternative that you and your spouse can do as a joint activity. Set aside a few weekends and get crafty. \n\n### #2 Wedding Photo Box \n\nA wedding album alternative that many couples like is a wedding photo box. Photo boxes let you store all your wedding prints in one safe place, without needing to be pasted into a book or uploaded and printed into a wedding album layout. \n\nLoose wedding photos allow you to comb through the images with ease—and in a random order. Wedding photo boxes can also be decorated with your wedding date or any other script that you’d like. One of the best parts of wedding photo boxes is that you can take out a photo at any time to display in a frame or hang in the house for viewing. \n\n### #3 Wedding Wall Prints \n\nUnsure of what to do with your wedding photos, but want to make sure the top shots are on display? Why not get a few of your favorite snaps printed and framed into gorgeous wall prints? You can have anywhere from one to four images printed to hang above the sofa or your bed, or go all out with a wedding gallery wall. With a gallery wall, you can print photos of varying sizes and hang them in a creative way. This is a fantastic—and easy—way to display your most memorable wedding day photos. \n\n### #4 Digital Wedding Album \n\nLet’s face it: Most of our photos live online these days, or on our phones. While scrolling through social media is nice, it’s not the best place to store and share all your wedding photos. That’s where a digital wedding album comes in.\n\nA digital wedding album is an online place to display the best photos from your big day. You can make the wedding album link private and share it with guests via a password or make it public, so all friends and family members can easily view the gallery at any time. A digital wedding album is a cost-effective alternative to a physical wedding album and can be easily updated at your convenience. You can also share your engagement photos or honeymoon pics in an online wedding album, too. \n\n## Zola: The Destination for All Your Destination Wedding Needs \n\nThe wedding planning process can be a lot of work, but Zola is your one-stop shop to make it that much easier. We are here to support you every step of the way, from [helping you find the right wedding photographer for you](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/questions-to-ask-wedding-photographer), to supporting you throughout the process [designing your own wedding ablum on Zola](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop). \n\nWith our selection of [wedding albums](https://www.zola.com/wedding-albums/shop), you have everything you need to craft the perfect collection of photos and memories from your big day, including:\n\n- Multiple cover materials (including linen, leather, and vegan leather)\n- A wide variety of fully customizable templates\n- Photographic printing for the highest-quality images\n- Up to 80 pages of wedding photos per album\n- Fast shipping\n\nKnowing the most popular wedding album sizes can help you choose the option that best suits your needs, including your budget, layout preferences, and photography style. The most popular wedding album sizes start at 8 x 8 inches—a square format—to 14 x 11 inches, which is a landscape design. Zola’s wedding album tool offers all the most popular sizes in a range of materials, colors, and page counts. You can also have the album cover customized with your names and/or wedding date in classic foil text. \n\nHere at Zola, we are ready to help whenever you’re ready to get started. We want to make your wedding memories last a lifetime, and wedding albums are one of the best ways to do just that.","tag":"List","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Do you want to create a wedding album yourself? We've got you covered! Continue reading to learn how to make your own wedding album online.","title":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album","slug":"how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XvW9gsQD7iIUS29r0VsFu/0117707c53a14d3c6b808ab19f1d3bae/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Wanting to show off your wedding photos in cool, not-so-typical ways? Check out our latest list of unique wedding album ideas.","title":"12 Unique Wedding Album Ideas","slug":"12-unique-wedding-album-ideas","topic":"Venues & vendors","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5heO7kNUjDpTNd7LpS9KOC/570699b76951c7ea2d780c9c346879e2/inline_shutterstock_1_.png","altText":"Unique Wedding Album Ideas"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"10? 50? 100? Everything you need to know about how many photos to include in your wedding album","title":"How Many Photos Should Be In A Wedding Album?","slug":"how-many-photos-should-be-in-a-wedding-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4G33dun0UeAqLdImhm6Bcy/6778f43902b384e0045c253ee92ddb71/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How Many Photos Should Be In A Wedding Album?"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Do you want to create a wedding album yourself? We've got you covered! Continue reading to learn how to make your own wedding album online.","title":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album","slug":"how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XvW9gsQD7iIUS29r0VsFu/0117707c53a14d3c6b808ab19f1d3bae/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"Wedding album planning just became a whole lot easier with Zola’s Album Wizard.","title":"How to Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes","slug":"how-to-create-your-wedding-album-in-10-minutes","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/23Hqv1qcpWialgg5Uh9aPo/357f44e39859b2cd329e94381933b9f8/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"Create Your Wedding Album in 10 Minutes"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Do you want to create a wedding album yourself? We've got you covered! Continue reading to learn how to make your own wedding album online.","title":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album","slug":"how-to-make-a-personalized-wedding-photo-album","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1XvW9gsQD7iIUS29r0VsFu/0117707c53a14d3c6b808ab19f1d3bae/Hero_Zola.jpg","altText":"How to Make a Personalized Wedding Photo Album"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Protect your investment in professional photography by caring for your wedding photos properly. Here are the best ways to store both digital and physical copies. ","title":"How To Store Your Wedding Photos","slug":"how-to-store-your-wedding-photos","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4vU0T3oalHpzpj8Od6QZnu/a3556e7679cc6362e5e0604d70aeca87/inline_unsplash__1_.jpg","altText":"how to store wedding photos"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"We’ll walk you through the wedding album design process from start to finish with tips that will help you make all the right design decisions.","title":"How to Design the Ultimate Wedding Photo Book","slug":"how-to-design-the-ultimate-wedding-photo-book","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6WfkNzdqSPs5MnQq8TF7L9/2bf412d2993cbebd1d4a2aaea9da569e/hero_ToriMercedesphotography.jpg","altText":"design a wedding photo book"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:22.721Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"how-to-celebrate-your-engagement-when-someone-is-going-through-a-breakup","title":"How To Celebrate Your Engagement When Someone Is Going Through a Breakup","excerpt":"Getting engaged is a joyful time, but it can be hard to fully experience that joy when someone you love is going through a breakup. Here are some of our tips to help you through it.","author":"Deanna deBara","publishedAt":"2021-02-01T15:23:22.348Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6CEVch1Fvydr9zdH4TATu2/6d6a8770ea42ae0355d5e28b62cf890f/Hero_Zola_2__1_.jpg","altText":"Celebrate Your Engagement Through a Breakup"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"Getting engaged is one of the happiest times in a person’s life. And when you’re the one who’s getting ready to say “I do,” you want to share that happiness and [celebrate your engagement](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-plan-an-engagement-party) with the people closest to you.\n\nBut, sharing that happiness and celebratory spirit can become complicated when someone you love is struggling with a recent heartbreak. So, the question is, how do you balance celebrating your engagement and sharing your happiness, while supporting your loved one through a breakup and still being sensitive to her feelings?\n\n## Acknowledge the Situation\n\n![Zola - How To Celebrate Your Engagement When Someone Is Going Through a Breakup - Deanna deBara](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3CEyenGiAGo82EJ0WfAFmj/0a09cd876d0d7bb8e9770be5bc267447/inline_shutterstock2.jpg)\n*Photo Credit * // Shutterstock\n\nCelebrating your engagement when someone you love is going through a breakup can feel awkward and difficult. And, to avoid those awkward, difficult feelings, you might be tempted to ignore the situation and focus on your wedding plans. But, if you value the relationship, it’s important not to do that—and to acknowledge what’s going on.\n\n“The best way to be supportive of a loved one who's going through a divorce or breakup while you're excited about your engagement is to do what we psychologists call ‘naming the process,’” says Dr. Naomi Torres-Mackie, a New York-based clinical psychologist focused on women’s issues, and the head of research at The [Mental Health Coalition](http://thementalhealthcoalition.org/) “This means that you make an effort to talk about the process of what's actually happening between you and your friend, rather than trying to sweep it under the rug.”\n\nHave a conversation with your loved one and let her know that while you’re excited about your engagement, you also recognize that this must be a difficult time for her. Let her know that you’re open and available if she wants to talk or needs support.\n\n“Tell your friend that you are there for her, and even though you are celebrating your own relationship, you would like to support her as she is saying goodbye to hers,” says Torres-Mackie. “This lets her know that you are not wrapped up in your own world or ignoring how she is doing, which might be something she fears as you embark on wedding planning.”\n\n### Ask How—and How Much—She Would Like to Be Included \nYou might have planned for your loved one to be by your side through the entire [wedding planning process](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-plan-a-wedding)—for example, helping you [pick out a wedding venue](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-choose-a-wedding-venue) or heading your [wedding party](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/wedding-photo-list). But if she’s going through a breakup, she may or may not be willing and able to support you as you [plan your wedding](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/checklist/your-ultimate-wedding-planning-checklist). However, the only way to know is to ask how—and how much—she wants to be involved.\n\n“A nice way to include your loved one who's going through a breakup is to ask her how she'd like to be involved,” says Torres-Mackie. “Take the pressure off by acknowledging that it might feel uncomfortable for her to be celebrating right now, but that you also don't want to leave her out of the festivities. Let her know that you would like her to be involved in whatever capacity would feel good for her.”\n\nFor example, “Maybe she is not emotionally strong enough to be your [maid of honor](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/checklist-maid-of-honor-duties) right now, but she might be willing to help plan part of the event or be an usher or [give a toast](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-give-a-great-wedding-toast),” says Dana McNeil, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and the founder of [The Relationship Place](https://www.sdrelationshipplace.com/), a group practice located in San Diego, California. \n\nAnd, if your loved one tells you that she can’t be involved in your engagement or wedding at all, try not to take it personally, as this could be a difficult decision for her, too.\n“If she tells you that she doesn’t want to be involved much, remind yourself that it's not personal and that your friend or loved one might need to just take care of herself right now,” says Torres-Mackie.\n\n## Find Other People to Celebrate With\nIt can be really disappointing when someone you love is going through a breakup and isn’t present and available to celebrate your whirlwind romance engagement with you—even when you completely understand their reasons why.\n\nBut, instead of feeling disappointed that that person can’t share in your excitement, try to remind yourself that they’re not the only person you can celebrate your engagement with—so, why not get out there and share that excitement with the other people in your life?\n\n“Decide for yourself how important it is to share your joy with this person in particular,” says Torres-Mackie. “Do you have others you could celebrate with? If after an honest conversation with your friend, you realize that celebrating with you is hard right now, think about who else you can turn to to pop the bubbly right now.”\n\nBy talking about your engagement and wedding with other people in your life, you can be sensitive to your recently single loved one—without dimming your own happiness or excitement.\n\nAlso, try to remind yourself that just because your loved one isn’t ready to share in your excitement right now doesn’t mean that she won’t be able to celebrate your engagement/wedding at some point in the future.\n\n“Since most weddings take place several months to a year after an engagement, it is entirely possible that your loved one may be able to feel more open to being a bigger participant down the road,” says McNeil.\n\n## Set Boundaries, If Necessary\nWhen your loved one is experiencing heartbreak, you want to be sensitive to her feelings, as it can be awkward to mix engagement and breakup. But, if she tries to rain on your parade—or worse, makes you feel guilty for your happiness—setting boundaries is a must.\n\n“If a loved one is making you feel bad about your engagement excitement because of her own relationship struggles, setting appropriate boundaries is key,” says Torres-Mackie. \n\nIf your loved one says things about your engagement, your partner, or your wedding plans that hurt or upset you, don’t feel like you need to stay in the conversation; it’s totally appropriate to take a break and walk away—and then let her know that while you understand that she’s struggling, that kind of hurtful talk just isn’t acceptable.\n\n“You never have to participate in a conversation that feels dismissive, hurtful, or overly and inappropriately critical,” says McNeil. “You get to decide to leave painful conversations and you are not required to stay in them when the other person is being disrespectful.”\n\n## Support Your Loved One and Celebrate Your Engagement\n\n![Zola - How To Celebrate Your Engagement When Someone Is Going Through a Breakup - Deanna deBara](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5XYv19bC0KjSt5EqEngGie/a44d39f6310ac275f83453a43abb3d58/inline_shutterstock.jpg)\n*Photo Credit * // Shutterstock\n\nIt can be tough to support a loved one through the hardships of a breakup while you’re brimming with excitement from a recent engagement—just like it can be hard for a person going through a breakup to cultivate a real sense of excitement for their recently engaged friend. But, just remember—you can balance both at the same time.\n\n“We often think that we can be happy or sad, stressed or relaxed, good or bad, but that ends up blocking us from feeling everything that we need to be in the moment,” says Torres-Mackie. If you are both sad on behalf of your friend while also joyous for yourself, that is both ok and normal.","tag":"How To","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Searching for wedding registry ideas? Check out our list of favorites and find something for every budget and every couple.","title":"122 Top Wedding Registry Ideas + Advice for Curating Your Gift List","slug":"wedding-registry-ideas","topic":"Registry & gifts","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7nXVuNG7RZCFsYFy6pVLyY/ec4b4085d64679eea3b043fd2b2b7d58/Top_130_Wedding_Registry_Ideas.jpg","altText":"Composite image of green Le Creuset lidded pot to be added to registry along with other registry suggestions like gift cards, experiences, and cash funds"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Looking for wedding themes to suit your personality and style? Zola has you covered with 75 of the best wedding theme ideas from classic to artsy to seriously unique.","title":"75 Wedding Themes to Inspire Every Type of Couple","slug":"wedding-themes","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"Wedding Style","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3HoNcgvHL38H89n8156o1/1017eb099f8518bbd5457c495a5e4753/73_Wedding_Themes_to_Inspire.jpg","altText":"Grid of different wedding styles - glitz and glam, tropical, rustic, summer camp."},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"From how to get a marriage license to picking the perfect venue, find out everything you need to know to plan the perfect New York wedding.","title":"How to Get Married in New York City: A Complete Guide ","slug":"how-to-get-married-in-NYC","topic":"Wedding planning 101","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4FVlQPi6o1grcLUsB7jiIa/a48fee0faf9b9325e06d286bfed34cc0/new-york-city-guide-hero-1.png","altText":"How to Get Married in New York City"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Want a stylish city hall wedding but have no idea where to start? Use our list of 24 intimate wedding ideas to make this special day truly special. ","title":"24 City Hall Wedding Ideas for Your Perfect Day ","slug":"city-hall-wedding-ideas","topic":"Venues & vendors","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4lQsmAcUtS9ER3TUr8xC8e/67e5244b4560f69fa8ced11718c1f313/Hero_IntimateWeddingatSanFranciscoCityHall_NightingalePhotography.jpg","altText":"Zola "},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:21.980Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"buy-renters-insurance","title":"How to Buy Renters Insurance","excerpt":"You can get renters insurance entirely without speaking to anyone else: Some insurers automate the whole process through an app or website.","author":"Zack Sigel ","publishedAt":"2019-04-23T16:28:14.726Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3CBvs2qr3gfoYCtepw4Wxp/09786315f76ae4ab21ce6e393f230cac/Screen_Shot_2019-04-23_at_12.27.36_PM.png","altText":"Modern Bathroom newlywed family insurance finances"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"---\n*__Sponsored Content. We may earn compensation if you click the links or buttons below.__*\n\n---\n","tag":"Insurance","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"We're here to tell you why building a wedding registry is still really necessary, regardless of whether you live together before marriage. ","title":"How to Create a Registry if You Already Live Together ","slug":"how-to-create-a-registry-if-you-already-live-together","topic":"Registry & gifts","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2t9B3SaAsMKwg8yS2IiAOW/6f788ac4a6864c55e10e4045d11615f5/How-to-Create-a-Registry-If-You-Already-Live-Together.jpg","altText":"man and woman holding hands in front of a mint green door seen only from waist down"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Homeowners insurance is for your house, apartment, condo, mobile home, and more. Here's everything you need to know.","title":"Your Guide to The Different Types of Homeowners Insurance","slug":"homeowners-insurance-guide","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1hjwYobaWRcOsWE7T4VqbE/e71e750206937b27c1017df6160da2c4/Screen_Shot_2019-04-23_at_3.29.22_PM.png","altText":"Newlywed Kitchen "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"If you pay rent, you need renters insurance. If you have a property, you can't afford to replace, you need renters insurance.","title":"Who Needs Renters Insurance?","slug":"renters-insurance-guide","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1j5e1UF4AWnrM0xaND2Y0D/4ec638409ff43f4b1ae455b32def3d7d/Screen_Shot_2019-04-23_at_3.43.43_PM.png","altText":"Newlywed Hallway "},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Whether you’re shopping for homeowners insurance for the first time or swapping out one policy for another, you want coverage that suits your needs and doesn’t break the bank.\n","title":"How to Buy Homeowners Insurance","slug":"homeowners-insurance","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Insurance","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1z9PaCVenV0v0k7boixqPB/542c19d0ba8c00b7b43fb9f1913288c3/How-to-Buy-Homeowners-Insurance.jpg","altText":"Newlywed Bathroom"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"From financial planning and taxes to insurance and legal documents, follow this 10-step list to help you get your newlywed life up and running smoothly in no time. \n","title":"10 Things You Should Do as a Newlywed","slug":"10-things-you-should-do-as-a-newlywed","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7ouLurjdpXyrD5Wf448iu6/e0004f2020a3752a6fb4e111f3431d4e/pexels-hong-son-5542265.jpg","altText":"newlywed couple man and woman embracing and touching foreheads right after their wedding ceremony"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"An engagement photo book is a beautiful way to put part of your love story on display. Here are the best ways to go about creating it and what you can use it for. ","title":"Engagement Photo Book: Tips + 10 Ideas","slug":"engagement-photobook-ideas","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/AFlb9Hj2YwReCIgaWl72P/f323f32abe002e4fe4796396dc01f5e6/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Engagement Photo book Ideas"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"From how much you should expect to spend on a wedding ring to tips for how to choose the right one for you, check out this guide on wedding ring styles, types, and materials.","title":"A Guide to Wedding Rings","slug":"a-guide-to-wedding-rings","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5P3fQN4IfleT7GqBYDmSs/8149be86e6f0b1e35a8e477b1a792fe8/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"gold wedding band and three diamond eternity wedding bands on a white sequined fabric"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Today’s couples are craving experiences instead of gifts. Our date ideas are fabulous to add to your wedding registry to make memories with your love.","title":"12 Fabulous Date Ideas to Put on Your Registry","slug":"12-fabulous-date-ideas-to-put-on-your-registry","topic":"Registry & gifts","tag":"List","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5XFbyLUjyLaqT7gm3RrHDI/8a01b731d6339621e591c9e2915835bd/hannah-busing-zhDREn4OqY8-unsplash.jpg","altText":"Date Ideas to Put on Your Registry"},"type":"articlePage"}],"sponsorCta":{"copy":"Get Started","url":"https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=zola-renters"},"sponsorName":"Policygenius","sponsorAbout":"*Policygenius makes it easy to compare and buy insurance. Since 2014, they have helped over 4.5 million people shop for insurance, and protected customers with over $20 billion in coverage. The team is driven by one simple mission: “To get people the insurance coverage they need and make them feel good about it.\"*","sponsoredBottomContent":"You can get renters insurance entirely without speaking to anyone else: Some insurers automate the whole process through an app or website.\n\nThere are a lot of reasons to [get renters insurance](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance). It provides you with financial protection in case your belongings are destroyed or [stolen](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-theft), or when a guest gets injured in your home and you’re liable for his or her medical bills. Renters insurance is cheap but it can save you thousands of dollars in the event of a catastrophe it covers.\n\nNot only is renters insurance [affordable](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/learn/how-much-is-renters-insurance) for almost any budget, it’s also very easy and convenient to get. Unlike other forms of insurance, such as life insurance or disability insurance, you’ll almost always eligible to get coverage regardless of your personal characteristics. You can also get renters insurance entirely without speaking to anyone else: Some insurers automate the whole process through an app or website.\n\n## Figure out how much stuff you own\n\nBuying renters insurance starts with making an inventory of your stuff. The value of all your belongings is [the amount you’ll want to replace](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/learn/how-much-renters-insurance-do-i-need) if something like a [fire](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-fires) destroys everything, and you’ll want to make sure [your policy](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/whats-included-on-a-renters-insurance-policy) reflects that amount in its coverage. If you have $20,000 worth of stuff – that TV, [that MacBook](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-computers), that coin collection, that couch, and so on – you should get a renters insurance policy worth $20,000. Anything less and you risk being unable to replace your things.\n\nYou need to [create a record of everything you own](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/how-to-create-a-renters-insurance-home-inventory), preferably with photographs and even video. This can be a heavy lift, but there are free [home inventory apps](https://www.policygenius.com/renters-insurance/how-to-create-a-renters-insurance-home-inventory/) and services that make cataloging your possessions easier. When you [file a claim](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/how-do-i-file-a-renters-insurance-claim), these records will be used to confirm that you actually owned your things as well as the condition they were in prior to the loss.\n\nMake special note of any difficult-to-replace or expensive items like art, collectibles or [jewelry](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-jewelry). You may want to have the special items you own appraised by a professional. Why note these items? Many policies, if they cover these things at all, only cover items like jewelry or electronics up to a certain dollar amount that may not match up to what they're actually worth. Because of this you may want to buy additional coverage in the form of a [renters insurance rider](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/what-are-renters-insurance-riders-endorsements-and-floaters).\n\nFor the rest of your stuff, go online and figure out how much it's worth. That will determine how much coverage you need.\n\n## Start shopping and get a quote\n\nNow that you know the value of your stuff, it’s time to start shopping. We can help you [compare renters insurance policies online](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance) and find one that not only meets your coverage needs but also fits easily into your budget.\nIn terms of matching your finances, what you’re aiming for is a low premium, the rate you’ll pay to keep your policy in force. The amount of coverage you need is the largest factor in determining your rate, so the more stuff you need to insure, or the most valuable that stuff is, the higher your premium will be.\n\nAnother important factor is your deductible, which is the amount you’ll have to pay out of pocket for claims before the renters insurance company picks up the rest. Common deductibles are $500 or $1,000, and a lower deductible means higher premiums.\n\nFigure out how much you want to purchase in personal liability and medical payments to others coverage as well. This can save you a bundle if you have clumsy or litigious friends.\n\nOnce you know how much coverage you need and what you can afford, you can get a quote from the renters insurance company. Quotes estimate how much your premiums will be once the carrier calculates exactly what it will cost to insure you. Quotes can be obtained online or through a renters insurance representative.\n\n## Questions to ask your renters insurance representative\n\nYour renters insurance policy will contain all the information you need about your coverage. But these policies are full of legalese and, although usually very thorough and clearly written, are kind of a slog to read through. For that reason, you should discuss everything with your renters insurance representative if you have one, and ask questions like,\n- What perils are covered? This question refers to how your stuff gets destroyed, not the kinds of stuff that the renters insurance coverage will replace. Although everything from [fire](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-fires) to [hurricanes](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-hurricane-damage) to political unrest will be covered, stuff like [floods](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/what-renters-need-to-know-about-flood-insurance), [earthquakes](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-earthquakes), and [bed bugs](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/does-renters-insurance-cover-bed-bugs) may not be covered without special a special [rider or endorsement](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/what-are-renters-insurance-riders-endorsements-and-floaters).\n- Which of my things are covered? Most items are covered, but many are not. Additionally, even some covered items are only covered up a certain limit of liability – “liability”, in this case, meaning the insurance company’s liability to you – and you may not be able to replace high-value items at full cost. Antiques, collectibles, and memorabilia are often not covered, but check with you representative or read over your policy carefully to confirm.\n- Do I have an actual cash value (ACV) or replacement cost value (RCV) policy? These types of policies differ in how the carrier reaches a valuation of each item. [Replacement cost coverage](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/learn/replacement-cost-renters-insurance) means you get value of the item back as new, but [actual cash value](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/learn/actual-cash-value-renters-insurance) coverage deducts depreciation from the value. Naturally, the latter is cheaper, but the [former may be more cost-effective](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/the-difference-between-actual-cash-value-vs-replacement-cost-value).\n- Will my renters insurance policy cover my partner, [roommate](https://www.policygenius.com/renters-insurance/should-roommates-share-renters-insurance), or guest? Although renters insurance policies typically cover any immediate family members, people who live with you, including your partner if you’re unmarried, [are not always covered](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/renters-insurance-without-a-lease). Ask your representative about adding people who live with you to your policy or if your policy already covers them.\n- Will my policy cover me away from home? Generally, the answer is yes, and even extends to your other family members. Your children are covered under your policy [while at college](https://www.policygenius.com/renters-insurance/renters-insurance-for-college-students/), for example, although you should ask your representative if there any limits to that coverage.\n\n## Save on your renters insurance premiums\n\nThere are a few things you can do to get lower premiums. One way is to buy renters insurance as part of a larger package, like with auto insurance, [which is called bundling](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/should-i-bundle-my-car-insurance-and-renters-insurance) and could save you money on both policies. Insurers may also give a discount if you agree to stay a customer for a certain number of years. Here are some more ways to lower your renters insurance premium.\n- Installing approved security devices, smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors can lead to a discount.\n- You can take on more risk. If you agree to a higher deductible, you'll pay a lower premium. Just make sure you have enough saved up to cover your deductible if there's an emergency.\n- Improve your credit. [Having bad credit](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/credit-check-for-renters) or a low credit score may raise your premiums. Pay off your debts, which should raise your score and possibly lower your premiums.\n- Certain [dog breeds](https://policygenius.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=70&aff_id=1582&redirect_slug=renters-insurance/renters-insurance-and-pets) could lead to higher premiums and may lead insurers to refuse to sell you a policy outright. Insurers commonly reject [pit bulls](https://www.policygenius.com/renters-insurance/renters-insurance-and-pit-bulls/), Doberman pinschers, Rottweilers and German shepherds; essentially any dog that might injure a guest and trigger a payout from your medical payments to others coverage. Let your insurer know about your dog when shopping to get an accurate quote. Some might be more flexible if you send your dog to obedience school.\n\nYou may be charged higher premiums as if you have a recent history of making a lot of renters insurance claims. Smoking will count against you, too.\n\n*This [article](https://www.policygenius.com/renters-insurance/how-to-buy-renters-insurance/) originally appeared on Policygenius*.\n","sponsorLogoImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6kXJCJM1wvWm1imwec2NwY/7e454b4e582352ed6be4ddd306526ef7/PG.Logo.RGB.Black_Resize_.png","altText":"Policygenius"},"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:42:21.215Z"}],"pagination":{"currentPage":1,"total":34},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples","description":"Congrats Newlyweds! As your wedding celebrations come to an end, you might be asking yourselves some questions on topics like combining finances, navigating post-wedding blues (it's a thing!) or buying a house and preparing to start a family. Find expert marriage advice to guide you through the start of your forever and beyond."},"topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice","description":"Get relationship advice from the experts. Maybe you've been dating for a while and need guidance on how to talk about the next steps. Or you're newly engaged and need advice on how to handle wedding planning stress. You'll also find advice for newlywed couples, like how to combine finances. Plus guides to celebrating anniversaries and renewing your vows! Whatever stage of the journey you're in, we're here to support you through it all.","subtopics":[{"featuredArticles":[{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Dating","slug":"dating"},"slug":"how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating","title":"How to Talk About Marriage When Dating","excerpt":"Want to find out where your partner stands on marriage, but not sure how to broach the subject? Read on to find how and when to talk about marriage when dating.","author":"Lisa Wong Macabasco","publishedAt":"2020-12-22T20:35:08.748Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4XxX5CB6Xz06uYVX1pkihD/8363ec8437cf3a9816750c0a772ef8fb/Hero_TraditionalNuptialsinMiami_InfiniteLoopPhotography_Films.jpg","altText":"Talk About Marriage When Dating"},"heroCredit":"Infinite Loop Photography+Films","body":"When dating, it can be nerve-wracking to broach the subject of marriage. But for those who think they’ve found a long-term partner and are ready to have a frank discussion about where the relationship is heading, this is an important step—and there are several important things to consider. \n\nIf you’re ready to take the plunge, here’s some sage expert advice about how to talk about marriage while you’re still dating. \n\n## Consider Your Timing\nFirst, it’s important to have a candid talk with your partner about where the relationship is heading and whether you both agree marriage is in the cards. When exactly this conversation should happen is based in part on your age and your priorities. \n\nIf you’re around 30 or older, it’s critical to talk about where the relationship is heading after being together for six months or so, especially if a woman wants to have children, advises [Yvonne Thomas](https://www.yvonnethomasphd.com/), Ph.D., a Los Angeles–based psychologist whose specialties include relationships. (The talk could happen as early as three months if things look serious.) “But if people are in their 20s, sometimes you're just having fun—you don't have to worry about biological time clocks,” says Thomas. \n\n![Zola_How to Talk About Marriage When Dating](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4yqVzRoVg6s2SRVDqApGJ3/8a64ed447f14792145548b14505a57a7/Inline_unsplash__39_.png)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## Read the Room\n\nMake sure the conditions are right for these kinds of serious discussions. “You don't want to freak anybody out and you want to do it lovingly,” says Thomas. “You want to do it as a team, so it needs to be non-adversarial and needs to be calm. Nobody should have been drinking or under the influence of anything. You want to be clear-headed. You want to be able to be in a good frame of mind, not too tired, not cranky.”\n\n## Set a Tone of Honesty \n\nConversations about marriage during dating can feel more difficult for many reasons. Sometimes one partner feels more ready than the other and doesn’t want to be pushy. Other times one partner cannot fully commit or may not feel mature enough to marry and make a lifelong commitment to anyone yet. This begs the question about whether the more ready partner should wait. In those cases, frank and open discussions need to be had about whether they both want each other as life partners and have the same desire to marry one another. If those things are the same, then sometimes couples can compromise on a timeline and discuss what may need to happen first. \n\n“When having marriage discussions, it’s best, to be honest about where you stand and listen carefully to the other person without being pushy,” says [Dr. Paulette Sherman](https://drpaulettesherman.com/), a psychologist, author of [Marriage and the Law of Attraction](https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Law-Attraction-Creating-Relationship/dp/0991540557) and the host of The Love Psychologist podcast. “It is important to take your partner at their word and not to create a story that they will change their mind.” \n\nConsider prefacing the talk as one where you’ll both be honest and respect each other. “Go into the conversation with a loving and on-the-same-team kind of spirit,” says Thomas. “You want to make it non-threatening because you want each party to be transparent.” \n\n## Be Upfront About What You Want \n\n“If marriage is a non-negotiable for you, don’t be afraid to state that as early as a first date,” says [Anita Chlipala](https://www.relationshipreality312.com/), a Chicago-based licensed marriage, and family therapist. “Someone who also wants marriage won’t freak out because you stated your desire early on. I’ve worked with couples who spent years together and end up gridlocked over the issue of one partner wanting marriage and the other one doesn’t. If you don’t want to waste your time, make sure you continue to date someone whose end goal is the same as yours.”\n\n## Get in the Details of the Future\nDon’t focus only on the details of your dream wedding, but rather on the broad specifics of your lives together. “A wedding and a marriage are two separate things,” points out [Crystal Bradshaw](https://www.synergycounselinginnovations.com/), a licensed professional counselor specializing in couples counseling. “When talking about marriage, you need to focus on how you will both go through life together as teammates. You’ll have to talk about what your expectations are for each other as partners, as parents (if you want to have kids), as well as your expectations of the relationship. Don’t assume your partner shares your definition of marriage. Get explicit with this conversation, leave nothing to assumption.” Bradshaw recommends starting with these questions and topics:\n\n- Share your hopes, dreams, visions, and goals for your life.\n- Identify the core values and see how closely you match up, as those will be the pillars on which you build your relationship.\n- Explore what marriage means to you and why it’s important. What is it that you look to get out of marriage?\n- What do you envision for yourself two, seven, 12, or even 32 years from now? Do the visions you have for yourself align with your partner?\n- What life dreams do you share? Are there any life dreams that would create an obstacle or conflict? Have you given any thought to how you would approach obstacles that you don’t see eye-to-eye on?\n- What have you not considered that you need to reflect on?\n- In what ways are you complementary? What are the polarities that may contribute to future challenges that will need to be navigated? Is this a person you see navigating challenges with you? How do you anticipate navigating challenges?\n\n## Get Organized\n\nThomas recommends each partner independently make a list with three columns: nonnegotiables/deal breakers, compromises, and nice-to-haves. Compromises are the ones where everybody could give a little bit to meet in the middle. Nice-to-haves are, well, nice to have, but not necessary. Then, tackle each of your important topics, sorting each into a column: children, religion, family, jobs, where you want to live, etc. Then compare notes with your partner. This exercise will help clarify where you both stand and how much room for compromise exists around the life topics you care about. \n\n## Give It Time—and Space\n![Zola_How to Talk About Marriage When Dating](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5SHtGqeFV7V0pndZbWEYRr/07dfc1b56374f84b7839cdf4b9826a0c/Inline_unsplash__38_.png)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\nFor these heavy conversations with your partner, it’s best to have a series of conversations over time instead of one hash-it-all-out session. The first conversation can cover whether you’re both interested in marriage at all in general and then proceed from there.\n\nIt’s important to spend time reflecting separately, Thomas notes. “Let each other have space and time to think about it on their own so that they can come back as authentic and as real as possible. Each person needs to know their truth and speak their truth. And the other one's going to have to hear it.”\n\nThe bottom line: If you're in a long term relationship, good communication is key. Before jumping into marriage, discuss important topics like religion, life goals, commitment, and finances. The sooner you have these difficult conversations and ask the important questions, the faster you'll be able to tell if the two of you are made for each other.\n","tag":"How To","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Finding the person you spend forever with is no easy task. There are signs to look out for to know if someone is your soulmate. Learn more here.","title":"How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One“?","slug":"how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1qEbZGmQOEVaFZN6Y5nzWM/6c3650f50147658c78f789ed88111e8a/Hero_ModernFallElopementatFreeman-s_AngelicaRadwayPhotography.jpg","altText":"Finding the one to marry"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"You and your partner have been dating for a while—when is it time to take the big step and move in together? Read on to find out.","title":"9 Signs That You Are Ready To Move In Together","slug":"when-should-you-move-in-together","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6z1izCU2tGEqryBcT8bFYr/4b6c68a7c775065543b70388532a288f/Hero_New__19_.jpg","altText":"couple moving in together"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Finding the person you spend forever with is no easy task. There are signs to look out for to know if someone is your soulmate. Learn more here.","title":"How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One“?","slug":"how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1qEbZGmQOEVaFZN6Y5nzWM/6c3650f50147658c78f789ed88111e8a/Hero_ModernFallElopementatFreeman-s_AngelicaRadwayPhotography.jpg","altText":"Finding the one to marry"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:39:24.337Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Dating","slug":"dating"},"slug":"how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one","title":"How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One“?","excerpt":"Finding the person you spend forever with is no easy task. There are signs to look out for to know if someone is your soulmate. Learn more here.","author":"Monica Mercuri","publishedAt":"2020-12-21T22:44:48.348Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1qEbZGmQOEVaFZN6Y5nzWM/6c3650f50147658c78f789ed88111e8a/Hero_ModernFallElopementatFreeman-s_AngelicaRadwayPhotography.jpg","altText":"Finding the one to marry"},"heroCredit":"Angelica Radway Photography","body":"Ah, “the one.” The concept that there’s one person meant for you, while lovely, is often followed by questions of how you know you’ve found that soulmate. Ask anyone you know that is in a long-term relationships and you’re likely to receive vague answers of, “*I just knew*” and “*everything just made sense.*” While that’s sweet for them, this ends up being more mystifying than helpful for you. Not to worry. \n\nWhether or not you believe that there’s one right person for you out there (among 7.8 million others), there *are* a few specific qualities that are present in most long-term partners (and successful relationships). Below, top relationship experts share their top five signs that you’ve found your person. Consider these your green flags.\n\n## What Do We Mean by “the One”?\n\nBefore we get into how you know you’ve found “the one,” let’s talk about what that even means. While books and film would have you believe this is some magical person that you’re supposed to be with, professional opinions are a bit more grounded in reality. \n\nIn simple terms, when most people say that they’ve found this person, what they mean is that they’ve found someone they feel is their life partner, says Dr. Chloe Carmichael, clinical psychologist and author of “[Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating](https://www.drchloe.com/dating/)”, tells us. [Lisa Bahar](https://lisabahar.com/about-lisa-bahar/), marriage and family therapist and adjunct faculty for Pepperdine University’s Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology program adds that this “synergy” or sense of being on the “same wavelength” often comes from sharing some fundamental beliefs about relationships and the world in general.\n\nThe pitfall of this idea is that there’s only one specific partner that you’re supposed to somehow find and be with. This is where relationship professionals and our favorite cheesy rom-coms clash. Across the board, our experts agree that, in all likelihood, there are actually multiple people who could be a potential partner. \n\nThis is great news! If you thought you’d found the one and it didn’t work out, rest assured that you haven’t missed your only shot. There’s a high chance that you’ll meet someone else that’s just as—if not more—compatible for you. That being said, there are definitely a few key signs that you’ve connected with someone you could have a wonderful, successful relationship with. These include… \n\n## You Share Similar Values and Priorities\n\nWhat are the [qualities to look for in a partner](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating)? While they don’t need to be identical, your partner should, at least, have similar core values and priorities as you. This could involve religion, political views, future planning, and even things along the line of education level and [finances](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged). “These are values and priorities that define a person’s character and perspective on life,” says Bahar. \n\nShe explains that people often look for others who relate in these ways in order to click. While opposites can attract—and help each person in a relationship grow—having values and priorities in common can massively aid in creating a strong foundation and clear outlook on the future. If you’re unclear if this is the case, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, marriage and family therapist, author of “[Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love](https://www.amazon.com/Exaholics-Breaking-Your-Addiction-Love/dp/145491825X)”, and host of the [Love, Happiness, and Success](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-happiness-success-podcast/id858864457?mt=2) podcast suggests asking yourself if your partner has a track record of making what you feel are good decisions, and if their long term goals feel compatible with yours.\n\n## You Have Healthy Communication and Accountability\n\nHaving healthy communication is when you’re able to be honest and transparent with one-another, without a conversation devolving into a hateful or bitter argument. As you can imagine, this is crucial in a relationship that wants to go the distance. \n\nBeing able to communicate will be the tool that gets you past inevitable conflicts and disagreements. Dr. Bobby notes that it’s important that someone shows the ability to “stay in the ring” and have productive conversations—even when they’re challenging. Your partner should be able to apologize when they’ve done something wrong, and hold themselves accountable when need be. Likewise, they should also point out when you’ve done something to upset them and talk it out without getting defensive. Regardless of topic, your success as a couple and moving forward should always be the goal, not ‘winning’ or coming out on top.\n\n## There’s Mutual Affection and Intimacy\n\n![How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/31WEnOdNfu8X72PrPyFAza/cbd2596c8c4a7c05d90bf898b88bc9c0/inline_unsplash.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\nSimply put, your partner should be comfortable showing you affection. However, it’s crucial to note that there isn’t just one way that someone can express this. In fact, affection can be expressed through various acts. You’ve probably heard of the love languages—words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, [quality time](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/guests-weddings-and-vaccines-what-you-need-to-know), and physical touch. \n\nSimilar to that logic, your partner should be able to show their affection towards you in the ways that you feel you need (and vice-versa), whether that’s cuddling on the couch, praising your work, or doing you a favor. Just don’t expect someone to catch on to your specific needs in this area right away. If you feel it’d be helpful, have a conversation about how you both like to receive love and affection. From there, a partner that’s in it for the long haul will put in the effort to meet those needs.\n\nLikewise, your relationship should possess intimacy. While intimacy can lend itself to sexual compatibility, it can also mean that there’s a genuine closeness between the two of you. According to an [Instagram post](https://www.instagram.com/p/B3dzZpGnV-5/?utm_source=ig_embed) from Therapist [Alyssa Mancao](https://www.alyssamariewellness.com/), like love languages, there are also different types of intimacy—emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical. Mancao notes that these types of intimacy foster necessary closeness and connection in a relationship. While your partner may express their affection in ways specific to you, you should feel intimate with them on each of these levels.\n\n## They’re Willing to Seriously Discuss the Future\n\nWhile not often spoken about, an ability to seriously discuss your future together is one of the clearest signs that someone is the one. “Being ‘the one’ is more than just an immense enjoyment of each other’s company and a general sense that you have the same life blueprint. Being ‘the one’ in the sense of a life partner will typically also mean having a genuine willingness and ability to make a future-oriented commitment to you, in this moment,” explains Dr. Carmichael. \n\nBefore committing to the idea that someone is the one, she urges you to first understand more about whether the person is truly thinking in a future-oriented manner about a relationship with you specifically. If they are, great! If not, they may not be in the same place as you, nor want the same things. In either case, this is paramount to discuss with someone you consider a potential life partner.\n\n![How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/odRMQ6b9YbK1gmUo4ZPl7/bba299016ba347f03f38e31d8e91703f/inline_unsplash_1_.jpg)*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## You’re Both Willing to Fight for Your Relationship’s Success\n\nAs compatible as you may be on paper (or notes app), the strongest indicator of someone being “the one” is whether or not you’re both willing to make it work and work through [marriage problems](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/to-dos-after-you-get-engaged). While similar interests and values are important, you should both be prepared to build a strong foundation and work for your future together. If we’re being realistic, lasting relationships without conflict don’t exist. Because of this, you both need to be willing to fight for your relationship’s success. \n\n“[The one] is willing to work through deeper emotional blocks or hard times with each other,” states [Dr. Paulette Sherman](http://www.drpaulettesherman.com/), psychologist, author of “[Marriage and the Law of Attraction: The Secret to Creating Your Perfect Relationship](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0991540557/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tpbk_p1_i8)”, and host of The Love Psychologist Podcast. When you’re both prepared to put in the work for a future together, consider it a strong indicator that you’ve found the one.\n\nThe idea of finding your meant-to-be partner is a daunting one. On top of other common dating mishaps, it can sound like a tall order when you’re seeking someone you can have a serious relationship with. Likewise, it can be intimidating to question whether the person you’re seeing is really that compatible for you in the long term. In any case, try to avoid unnecessary spiraling and really think through these key factors. What’s most important here is that you’re honest with yourself about your relationship—even when it’s hard. When all else fails, just know that love isn’t an exact science. Take all the time you need and, ultimately, trust both your head and heart.\n","tag":"Advice","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Want to find out where your partner stands on marriage, but not sure how to broach the subject? Read on to find how and when to talk about marriage when dating.","title":"How to Talk About Marriage When Dating","slug":"how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4XxX5CB6Xz06uYVX1pkihD/8363ec8437cf3a9816750c0a772ef8fb/Hero_TraditionalNuptialsinMiami_InfiniteLoopPhotography_Films.jpg","altText":"Talk About Marriage When Dating"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"What are the most important things in a long, healthy relationship? Read on to find out now. ","title":"18 Things That Are Important In a Relationship","slug":"what-are-the-5-most-important-things-in-a-relationship","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2tRMjQG9NUdJdwEjUjdprR/76dcb8f489b13a16d5ff396dc6fcad62/18-Things-That-Are-Important-In-a-Relationship-.jpg","altText":"Most Important Things in a Relationship"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"We spoke with a marriage therapist and couples about their best marriage advice for engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples celebrating another year of marriage.","title":"20 Best Marriage Advice Tips from Experts and Old Couples","slug":"the-3-best-pieces-of-marriage-advice-according-to-a-marriage-therapist","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"Advice","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7yk1TfwWjXPYXYiIyuvc4B/a8e8f51ad7935471908fa94113c38734/Hero_MountainDestinationWeddingatTheMagnoliaVenue_HeatherFaulknerPhotograhy.jpg","altText":"Mixed race bride and groom looking at each other lovingly on their big day"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:39:26.209Z"}],"name":"Dating","slug":"dating","description":"Whether you just started dating and are looking for special birthday gift ideas or have been dating for sometime and need guidance on how to talk about bringing your relationship to the next level. Find practical dating advice for every couple."},{"featuredArticles":[{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newly engaged couples","slug":"newly-engaged-couples"},"slug":"parents-and-fiance-dont-get-along","title":"5 Reasons Your Parents and Fiancé Don't Get Along—and How to Deal","excerpt":"There are many common reasons your parents many not like your fiancé. Licensed therapists share what to do and how to talk about it when your parents and partner don't get along.","author":"Monica Mercuri","publishedAt":"2019-12-19T19:59:14.947Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/5Tlmlny0gut2tGN3YKWOnA/609bf1855ee4ea250a587cd926039832/SPECIAL_HERO_MonnettePhotography_1080x720_Ashleigh_Drew.jpg","altText":"couple with partner and parents who don't get along"},"heroCredit":"Monnette Photography","body":"Fresh off an engagement, many couples grab their phones to [call their families](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-announce-your-engagement), namely their parents or any parent-like figures. However, for some couples, that call can cause some tension. If your parents don’t like or get along with your fiancé, an engagement can cause as much stress as it may excitement. \n\nIf there’s turmoil between your parents and your partner, you may be feeling a little lost. To help you out, we talked to licensed relationship therapists for their advice on how to approach—and hopefully, amend—these relationships. Here, we’re breaking it down by common reasons for disagreements between parents and partners.\n\n## Your partner is a different race or religion.\nObviously, disagreements involving race, religion, or other lifestyle differences vary greatly from family to family. However, according to [Aimee Hartstein](http://www.aimeehartstein.com/), LCSW, a relationship therapist, these conflicts can come from the same place. Therefore, they can be approached similarly. \n\n“Your parents may have expected you to marry someone who is of the same background as they are and may be sad, confused, enraged, or disappointed that you’ve made a very different life decision,” she says. This can extend to worries about how you may raise your future children (their grandchildren). It’s a touchy and sensitive topic for everyone involved. However, that doesn’t mean there’s room to compromise. \n\n__How to Deal:__ If your parent or parents are disapproving, have a direct conversation with them, excluding your fiancé. Confront them about their judgments and fears while standing your ground. If they’re less strict and more so hopeful in their wants you for, there may be room for them to alter or update their perspective and form a good relationship with your to-be spouse. \n\nIf your parents still don’t approve, Hartstein recommends putting space between them and yourself. “Let them know that you need them to accept you, your partner, and your life choices,” she affirms.\n\n![INLINE GiannasPhotography 1080x720 Hanna&Nicole](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4jL0GZAxY74ajBmhDHFiv3/5effde16e3baa9017ea093d999f0869f/INLINE_GiannasPhotography_1080x720_Hanna_Nicole.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Gianna's Photography\n\n## Your parents and partner never got along.\nWhether the tension stems from a specific incident or is simply a result of clashing personalities, it’s possible your partner and parents just never clicked. If it’s a long-standing fued of sorts, you may already be prepared for some backlash. You may feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. However, it’s not necessarily too late. \n\n__How to Deal:__ There are a few ways to approach the situation, depending on what caused the rift.\n- *__If your fiancé is in the wrong:__* “If something or several things happen where say your fiancé rubbed someone the wrong way, I would recommend having your fiancé directly communicate with the parent,” says Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist, [Dr. Alisa Ruby Bash](http://m.alisarubybash.com/). “Having them step forward and say, I love your child and I want to work through this and I’m sorry if I offended you can be really effective.” \n- *__If your parents are in the wrong:__* Ask them to put in the effort to make amends and get past a certain occurrence that can promote healing. “If it’s more personality-based, it’s a little more challenging,” Dr. Bash admits. “The important thing is that, while someone may not fully like the other person, they’re going to have to learn to live with them.”\n\nIn this case, speaking to your parents or fiancé and letting them know that their effort to try to get along means a lot to you—it can be a great motivator. “You can make those attempts and sometimes things can be resolved. People can get past things and healing can definitely take place,” Dr. Bash says.\n\nHowever, if there’s a lot of arguing or the disagreement spans a long time, therapy (individual, [couple’s](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating), or family) can be an extremely useful tool.\n\n## Your fiancé has been disrespectful.\nFor whatever reason, your fiancé may be the source of tension between them and your parents. This is, frankly, unacceptable, especially if the disrespect stems from nothing other than your partner being difficult. “Unless your parents are incredibly rude or alienating to your partner, there’s no reason for [him or her] to be disrespectful,” Hartstein says. \n\nIn fact, if the person you love isn’t willing to be respectful towards your family, it could be a bad sign for the relationship. “It’s concerning if you have a partner who you can’t trust to get along with your friends, family, and the general population at large,” Hartstein says. “I recommend trying to nip this in the bud with direct discussion as soon as possible.”\n\n__How to Deal:__ The sooner you confront your partner about their behavior, the better. If you avoid confrontation and just hope for eventual improvement, it’s likely that you’ll harbor major resentment towards them in the future.\n\n## My parents still like my ex.\nWhile it may feel like a betrayal, it’s understandable if your parents still have fond feelings [for your ex](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/invite-ex-to-wedding). If they feel this way, chances are they spent considerable time with them and formed a positive relationship. Nothing about this is abnormal or malicious. It shouldn’t, however, in any way influence their relationship or opinion of your fiancé. \n\n“It’s fine that your parents like and perhaps miss your ex, but it’s your life and your decision. You have good reasons that you’re no longer with them and have committed to a new partner,” Hartstein says.\n\n__How to Deal:__ In this case, you’ll want to speak with your parents without your partner, in order to avoid any awkwardness or putting anyone on the spot. Be considerate of your parents’ feelings while also taking Hartstein’s advice and being direct. Let them know it’d mean a lot to you if they attempted to form new bonds with your new partner.\n\n![INLINE NightingalePhotography 1080x720 Zoe&Earl](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/59Hm5stxwjmdk7f9Kjfy3T/302e92c031c7f142654eb4361be7b23b/INLINE_NightingalePhotography_1080x720_Zoe_Earl.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Nightingale Photography\n\n## My partner and parents aren’t close enough. \nWhether the relationship is new or your parents simply haven’t had a lot of time to bond with your partner, this problem isn’t super uncommon. Simply put, your parents may feel as though they don’t have a good idea of who your fiancé is—and how he or she may treat you. Perhaps they haven’t been able to form any sort of relationship with them, due to shyness on either side, a lack of effort, or even your geographical location.\n\n__How to Deal:__ Naturally, the best thing to do is make an effort to have your parents and fiancé spend some time together. If you’re able to, make plans for all of you to do something as a group. Go [wedding venue scouting](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-choose-a-wedding-venue) then go out to lunch. Invite them over for dinner or offer to cook at their place. Chances are they simply want to feel important and involved.\n\nIf your fiancé is shy, ask them what they’d be comfortable doing before setting any plans. Also, avoid inviting other family members or friends since that can be distracting and defeat the purpose.\n\nIf you live far from your parents, take Dr. Bash’s advice: “In a situation where you’re maybe living in another country and it’s hard to plan a trip or meet in person—maybe someone is deployed and can’t come back—at least try to do a FaceTime call or something similar.”\n\nJust making your parents feel that they’re important, that you want their approval, and that you’re making that effort will a long way, she adds.\n\n## What To Do When There’s No Resolution\nIt’s a sad result to consider, but it’s possible that your partner and parents won’t end up making amends. Certain opinions and incidents may run too deep. It’s crucial, in this case, to recognize that this is an emotionally charged situation and allow yourself to feel sad about it.\n\n“Sometimes we have these ideas of harmonious relationships and how we want things to go and that doesn’t happen,” Dr. Bash says. “[You] have to mourn not being able to have the type of bigger family relationship we might’ve wanted, while still going ahead and marrying your partner.” \n\nAfter any type of fallout, don’t be afraid to lean on a loved one (your partner, especially) and speak to a professional. Voicing your thoughts and feelings can be instrumental in allowing you to heal and feel better.\n","tag":"Inspiration","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"You're engaged! Now it's time to tell people. Here are the best ways to make an engagement announcement that works for you. ","title":"How to Announce Your Engagement","slug":"how-to-announce-your-engagement","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/3hk4Xt2gcurIwwAACqfcxh/52d16b9f41ed4c4e63d6f316dcb0379d/How-to-Announce-your-Engagement.jpg","altText":"Couple makes engagement announcement"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Getting engaged at the same time as your best friend can be exciting—and tricky. Here's how to manage expectations and be there for your friend as you plan your own wedding.","title":"How to Be Engaged at the Same Time As Your Best Friend","slug":"engaged-same-time-as-best-friend","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"How-To ","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6Rc2R8CnYBAvDUljxL9qk2/431a71cd2fa527552615df47b88f9de0/HERO_PexelsAsyaCusima_1080x720.jpg","altText":"friends engaged at the same time"},"type":"articlePage"}],"featured":[{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? A lot goes into wedding planning, but you don’t have to do it all at once. Here are the must-do to-dos after getting engaged.","title":"Just Engaged? Here’s What To Do Next!","slug":"to-dos-after-you-get-engaged","topic":"Getting engaged","tag":"Inspiration","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6KWedC7RqcjzNqK8zy0LoU/286c6acfc830a30a9ac4d274ebf14501/Hero_New.jpg","altText":"Illustration graphic of an engagement ring box with a wedding ring and shine marks to indicate sparkle"},"type":"articlePage"},{"excerpt":"Want to find out where your partner stands on marriage, but not sure how to broach the subject? Read on to find how and when to talk about marriage when dating.","title":"How to Talk About Marriage When Dating","slug":"how-to-talk-about-marriage-when-dating","topic":"Relationship advice","tag":"How To","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/4XxX5CB6Xz06uYVX1pkihD/8363ec8437cf3a9816750c0a772ef8fb/Hero_TraditionalNuptialsinMiami_InfiniteLoopPhotography_Films.jpg","altText":"Talk About Marriage When Dating"},"type":"articlePage"}],"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:52:28.460Z"},{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newly engaged couples","slug":"newly-engaged-couples"},"slug":"how-to-combine-your-things-and-move-in-together","title":"How to Combine Your Things and Move In Together","excerpt":"Moving in with your SO? Here's how to combine your things and move in together—free of fighting, stress, or giving up your favorite stuff.\n","author":"Ruksana Hussain","publishedAt":"2019-07-12T14:49:13.201Z","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/6WgkSw4Pnjathj7alsusn2/e7a324622168f05a0d343a8778eaabee/How-to-Combine-your-Things-and-Move-in-Together.jpg","altText":"men combine things and move in together"},"heroCredit":"Zola","body":"Getting married is signing up to share your life with your partner. While parts of the whole “sharing your life” thing are symbolic, others are real and quite tangible—namely moving in together.\n\nIf you don’t already live together, moving in together is the start of [planning your future as newlyweds](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-plan-a-wedding-on-a-budget). And it’s no small feat. After all, you’re literally coming together to share your lives and your living space—and all the kitchen utensils, throw pillows, and electronics that go with it.\n\nIt doesn’t have to be stressful, though, even if you’re both bursting with home goods. Here’s how to combine your things and move in together as simply as possible. \n\n## Take inventory of your stuff…\nFirst things first, you need to take stock of what you both have. Chances are you both have a lot of the same things. It’s a waste of time to pack and move two sets of anything you don’t need two sets of. Take an inventory of everything in your current living space and have your partner do the same. \n\nThen, get together, compare lists, and look for opportunities to either sell or donate duplicate items you won’t need now that you’re moving in together. Here are a few examples of larger items you both might have:\n- [Kitchen appliances](https://homestore.zola.com/shop/category/kitchen) (microwave, Instant Pot, Crock-Pot, Toaster)\n- [Large Electronics](https://homestore.zola.com/shop/category/electronics-and-gadgets) (television, desktop computer, sound system/speakers)\n- [Lighting](https://homestore.zola.com/shop/category/lighting)\n- [Large Furniture](https://homestore.zola.com/shop/category/furniture) (couch, recliner, end tables, dining table and chairs)\n- [Decorative Items](https://homestore.zola.com/shop/category/decor) (bar cart, small and large rugs, planters)\n\nYou don’t want to start your new life in your new space bogged down by too much stuff—plus, again, why move all that extra stuff anyway? (Bonus: this is also a great way to figure out [what to add to your registry](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/wedding-registry-checklist) if you're not already married!)\n\nNow, there might be some duplicate items that you want to keep—and that’s totally fine! For example, if you and your SO both have TVs, you might want to keep them both. Use one in your new bedroom and one in the living room or another common space. Just make sure that you’re actually going to use both items.\n\n![Zola Inlineimage 1080x720](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/2Aqhlpxai2P9p1AvoMNnkx/dbc28564643608b124cb1553e17985a5/Zola_Inlineimage_1080x720.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Zola\n\n## ...and of your space.\nBefore you move in together, you and your SO have to take inventory of your stuff—but you also need to take inventory of your space. There’s a limit to how much stuff can fit into any space. So before you decide who is bringing what, it’s important to evaluate your new home and figure out what there’s actually room for—and what items might need to be left behind.\n\nFor example, you might love your king-sized bed, but if your new bedroom is smaller than your current digs, bring your partner’s queen. Then, sell or donate your mattress and bed frame. Once you know how much room you’re working with, choose the items that make the most sense within the space.\n\n### How to Decide Between Duplicates\nOne of the challenges of combining stuff is deciding whose stuff stays and whose goes. Some items will prove easy to decide between, but others not so much. When the answer’s not clear, consider the following:\n\n- __Size:__ Which item is going to fit best in your space and with your other furniture? Bigger isn’t always better.\n- __Condition:__ Is one item newer than the other? Is one more dinged up than the other? A newer appliance may last longer than a well-loved one. \n- __Quality:__ Is one of the items a higher-quality brand or known to last longer than the other brand? Take the nicer knives.\n\n![Zola InlineImage 1080x720](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7iAEqrHK58sKTFUEEfXoSH/3afed75740d7e58b5728e482b9aa4def/Zola_InlineImage_1080x720_.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Zola\n\n## Make space for each other.\nA new home is an opportunity for both of you to make it your own. However, if one of you is moving into the other’s space, it can be a bit more challenging for you both to claim ownership. So, make space for each other.\n\nIf your SO is moving into your place, make sure you put in the extra effort to make them feel at home—and let them know that it’s no longer “your” place, but “our” place. Clear out space in the closet. Swap out some of your furniture so your SO has room to bring some of their own pieces. Rearrange your layout together so you both have a sense of ownership of the space. If you’re the one making the move into your partner’s home, ask for those same things. \n\nThe most important thing is to make sure you both feel at home—regardless of who’s home it was first.\n\n## Prepare to compromise.\nNo matter how in sync you and your partner are, there’s going to be at least an item or two in each of your respective homes that the other isn’t thrilled about. Enter: compromise.\n\nEveryone has things they love or attach sentimental value to. So, you and your partner both need to be willing to compromise on at least a few of those things for each other. For example, you might not love comic books, but if your partner has been collecting comics since they were a kid, it’s important to make space in your new home for them to display their collection (it doesn’t have to be the living room).\n\nCompromise is part of any happy, healthy marriage—and if you can compromise with your partner on the items that are meaningful to them (even if those items mean nothing to you), it will make the process of combining your things and moving in together a lot smoother.\n\n## Take a break.\nNo matter how excited you are to be moving in together, it’s a stressful process. So, take regular breaks. If you find yourself growing agitated when your SO takes up too much closet space or your partner seems snappier than usual, press pause and do something else. \n\nHit your favorite spot for dinner, go for a walk, or find another way to take a breather and disconnect. The point is, moving is inherently taxing. If you don’t want the stress to feel overwhelming, it’s important to step away every once in a while and spend some time with your partner (away from all the boxes that still need to be packed/unpacked).\n\n## Happy moving!\nCombining your things and moving in together can be tricky. Employ these tips and try your best to stay calm and composed. You’ll be happily moved, the perfect amount of stuff in tow, before you know it.\n","tag":"How-To ","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"stickyCta":{"copy":"Start Planning With Zola","url":"https://www.zola.com/wedding/onboard?product=WEDDING_PLANNING"},"updatedAt":"2024-02-05T16:52:32.061Z"}],"name":"Newly engaged couples","slug":"newly-engaged-couples","description":"Congratulations on your engagement! In the midst of planning your wedding, you might need general advice on navigating life as a newly engaged couple. We give expert advice on topics like navigating a long distance engagement and answer questions like how to introduce your fiance to your family. We're here to guide and support you, in all ways, throughout this journey!"},{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples","description":"Congrats Newlyweds! As your wedding celebrations come to an end, you might be asking yourselves some questions on topics like combining finances, navigating post-wedding blues (it's a thing!) or buying a house and preparing to start a family. Find expert marriage advice to guide you through the start of your forever and beyond."},{"featuredArticles":[],"name":"Anniversaries","slug":"anniversaries","description":"Your guide to celebrating wedding anniversaries! From anniversary gifts by year to celebrating with a vow renewal ceremony, find all the advice and inspiration you need to make every anniversary super special."}],"featured":[{"type":"articlePage","topic":{"name":"Relationship advice","slug":"relationship-advice"},"subtopic":{"name":"Newlywed couples","slug":"newlywed-couples"},"slug":"the-3-best-pieces-of-marriage-advice-according-to-a-marriage-therapist","title":"20 Best Marriage Advice Tips from Experts and Old Couples","excerpt":"We spoke with a marriage therapist and couples about their best marriage advice for engaged couples, newlyweds, and couples celebrating another year of marriage.","author":"McCall Minnor","publishedAt":"2024-03-19T11:00-04:00","heroImage":{"src":"//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7yk1TfwWjXPYXYiIyuvc4B/a8e8f51ad7935471908fa94113c38734/Hero_MountainDestinationWeddingatTheMagnoliaVenue_HeatherFaulknerPhotograhy.jpg","altText":"Mixed race bride and groom looking at each other lovingly on their big day"},"heroCredit":"Heather Faulkner Photograhy","body":"Marriage isn’t all bliss and riding off into the night after you say your I do’s. While your love for your partner may feel as strong as ever post-nuptials, marriages take effort and a continual choice to honor your vows daily. Make no mistake, this is no easy feat. That’s why there’s no shame in seeking out relationship advice that could aid in keeping your union as strong and healthy as ever.\n\nWe rounded up the [best advice for marriage](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/topic/relationship-advice) from therapists and couples whose love has stood the test of time. See our 20 top marriage advice tips below.\n\n## 1. Marriage is work\n\nYou must be willing to put in the work. “You have to know that love is more than an emotion,” notes Mary Kay Cocharo, licensed marriage and family therapist. Being in a relationship, especially a marriage, needs more than your fondness for one another to last. “People fall in love, so they decide they should be partners and get married,” she says. “And while love is great and propels you into that commitment, it’s just the beginning. It’s not enough. A really good partnership takes commitment and kindness and generosity, and it requires tools like good communication.”\n\n![The 3 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice, According to a Marriage Therapist](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/21YPS00yipioc55eyxZxfr/bba0aaf048616219ca213681145abbc9/inline_unsplash_1_.jpg)\n*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## 2. Listen more\n\nWithout a doubt, every healthy marriage will hit a rough spot, be it internal or external. When that happens, your love for each other will be the thing that makes you want to get through it, but it can’t do all the heavy lifting alone. That’s when you have to be able to have productive conversations, understand your partner’s perspective, and decide how to move forward.\n\n## 3. The honeymoon will end\n\n“When couples get married, those early hormones and chemicals that happen towards the beginning of a relationship—the ones that launch us into commitment—start to wear off. Neuroscientists tell us this happens after about two years,” Cocharo explains. What she’s referring to is a study done by a team from the University of Pisa in Italy. They found that the bodily chemistry that makes people sexually attracted to a new partner lasts, at most, for two years. “They wear off, and now you’re looking at [your partner] and realize, oh, we have differences.”\n\nExpecting this and knowing it’s inevitable (and completely normal) softens the initial blow tremendously. If you recognize this before it happens, you can even work to make sure you have the tools to get through future married life difficulties.\n\n## 4. Use the right tools\n\nLearn and use relationship tools like good communication, healthy boundaries, and actively showing your partner love. These marriage work tools heavily aid in resolving disagreements and getting through those inevitable tough times. “Sometimes couples will hit something difficult and use that to mean they’ve chosen the wrong person or that it’s over. That’s just not true,” Cocharo says.\n\n“It’s hard, and sometimes you don’t have the proper tools. Maybe you didn’t grow up in a situation that taught you about love and respect or being a married partner. In that case, you just need to get the help. You don’t just give up.”\n\nNot sure where to get the tools? Consult a marriage therapist. There are also tons of helpful books, workbooks, workshops, and even phone apps (try [Love Nudge](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.grootersproductions.challenge&hl=en)) you can use to do couples’ exercises and prompt conversations with your partner. So long as you’re willing to seek out help (and you have an internet connection), you have the ability to learn and use the tools that will take your marriage the distance.\n\n## 5. Take care of yourself\n\nAn often overlooked key part of having a successful marriage is taking care of yourself. “When some people get married, they think it’s their partner’s job to take care of them. In reality, everyone is busy and has a lot on their plate—you really do need to put on your own oxygen mask first,” says Cocharo. This isn’t to say that you can’t lean on your partner and vice-versa, but rather that when you get married, you should continue to treat your well-being and self-care as a priority. Don’t expect that responsibility to be handed off to your loved one. Making time for self care assures you’re happy and healthy and lets you bring your best self to the relationship.\n\n“Make sure you’re doing the things that make you a happy, healthy, whole person. Simple things like eating right, exercising, and getting out in nature. Maybe praying or meditating, reading, or whatever calms you down. Also, going to see friends and visiting family,” Cocharo suggests.\n\n## 6. Marriage is 60/40\n\nSome people say marriage is 50/50, but that’s really hard to measure, and it often ends up with both partners feeling shorted. With the [60/40 relationship rule](https://psychiatristsnyc.com/blog/want-a-successful-relationship-practice-this-one-rule/), a marriage is uneven, with both partners feeling like they’re giving 60%. When you put in 60%, “you’re giving your partner love on their terms,” says Mt. Sinai psychiatrist and relationship expert Amanda Itzkoff. “When both partners focus on giving 60% and taking just 40%, the relationship has an overwhelming chance of being successful.”\n\n![Stocksy txp05f31680VSp300 Large 4393583](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/M61DW5GeWvu5fk28aEm4F/6ff9b06201a5df87012dcbd2edecf6bd/Stocksy_txp05f31680VSp300_Large_4393583.jpg)\n\n## 7. Lose the battle, win the war\n\nYou might feel like you *have to get them to mow the lawn today, or if you pay for that new kitchen, you won’t save enough this year*. Go ahead and lose those smaller battles now to build a healthier marriage. As Benjamin Franklin famously said, “If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.”\n\n## 8. Start counseling before you need it\n\nWaiting until there’s a problem before you start marriage therapy is like waiting to get teeth pulled instead of flossing every night. According to Marriage.com, the [best time to start couple’s therapy](https://www.marriage.com/advice/pre-marriage/when-to-start-pre-marital-counseling/) is as soon as possible, and preferably before you’re married. Think of marriage counseling like coaching, not a sign that something is broken. Choose a good coach, and use it as an opportunity to work on and change yourself—not your partner.\n\n## 9. Listen to audiobooks\n\nOne chief cause of marital stress is endlessly replaying arguments after they have ended. After an argument, the tendency is to stew about it and try to make sense of it. While working to understand is healthy, it can put your emotions on perpetual simmer. Listening to an audiobook while you mow the lawn or do the dishes can keep you from stewing, give your feelings time to reset, and even show you good ideas that can help you strengthen your relationship. Get an Audible subscription or a free app from your local library.\n\n## 10. Eat first, fight later\n\nThis piece of marriage advice is so simple it’s easy to overlook it. Before you talk to your spouse, have a meal or at least a snack. [Eating a meal increases agreeableness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25770700/) (so your partner is more likely to see your point of view) and reduces dominance and submissiveness (so you’re less likely to be overbearing or give in too easily). Feel a fight coming on? Take a snack break.\n\n## 11. Give grace\n\nSpoiler alert: Your spouse isn’t going to do everything right. In fact, they’ll often do things very wrong. If you keep a tally of every way they’ve let you down, you may win on points, but your relationship will lose. Grace is saying, “You did wrong, but I forgive you, and I love you anyway.” Give your partner a clean slate every day (and every hour). And while you’re at it, give some of that forgiveness to yourself.\n\n![The 3 Best Pieces of Marriage Advice, According to a Marriage Therapist](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/1HJfLa2CMijLEdHHEsEu1S/a4c519b7964854f6d9dc505d26ea971a/inline_unsplash.jpg)*Photo Credit* // Unsplash\n\n## 12. Don’t assume\n\nOur brains are good at filling in the blanks. The problem is it’s easy to fill in someone else’s thoughts. That’s why talking without judging, arguing, or adding your opinions is so healthy for relationships. When you let your partner talk, you won’t have to fill in any blanks. You’ll know. Sound easy? It’s not. Active listening is a skill you’ll have to learn, like playing the piano or shooting jump shots. You can start with Kate Murphy’s eye-opening book, *[You’re Not Listening](https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Listening-Missing-Matters/dp/1250779871/ref=asc_df_1250779871/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=507975958237&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4121891810911394376&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9009250&hvtargid=pla-927127602652&psc=1&mcid=8b3bcf03afe0323998a173033f904849&gclid=CjwKCAiAs6-sBhBmEiwA1Nl8s6BMtsMauL9PKTvLkL8cIwriOgAOodo2CRdL2l8b-3Dri_GbvanGvhoCsssQAvD_BwE)*.\n\n## 13. Learn to fight\n\nPrediction: you will fight. But—you can fight in a way that weakens your relationship or strengthens it. The secret here is that nobody is born knowing how to fight the right way. And though there’s plenty of great advice online (be respectful, take a break if things get heated, use active listening), they’re easier said than done. So, consider taking a class on how to fight. Some marriage counselors and churches offer fighting classes for couples, and the online [Couples Fight School](https://masteringconflict.com/couples-fight-school/) can be a fun, rewarding experience for both of you.\n\n## 14. Learn to apologize\n\nWe all know we should eat humble pie from time to time, but did you know there’s a right way and a wrong way? The key is to accept full responsibility (no buts), then take your lumps. Expect your partner to unload on you after you say you’re sorry and accept it with more listening. Then, be willing to make it right, give in, and give up something you thought you really wanted. (What’s more important, winning the argument or your marriage?)\n\n## 15. Be a team\n\nYou’re in this together. While this may sound like cliche marriage advice, the key point is to see problems as both of you vs the problem, not both of you against each other. Don’t blame each other. For a little inspiration, see this *Atlantic* article: [Marriage Is a Team Sport](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/11/how-collaboration-can-improve-marriage-relationships/672048/).\n\n## 16. Spend now or spend later\n\nIs it too expensive to take your spouse out to eat once a week? Is time precious to you? You may want to spend time or money on things that set you up for a good life later, but what good will it do you if there’s nobody there to share it with? Spend a big chunk of your time and money on your spouse now, even if it’s not the smartest play for your career or finances. If you don’t, you may spend it later in divorce proceedings and custody arrangements.\n\n![newly engaged couple in debt](//images.ctfassets.net/77l22z9el0aa/7GFbYLisIT4eBAT2WM3y31/247792361f0df7f70e34e6d542dffcb1/HERO_Unsplash_1080x720__6_.jpg)\n\n## 17. Love is a decision, not a feeling\n\nIf you don’t feel loved, you may mistakenly conclude your marriage is a failure. And while [most couples](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/64-percent-of-americans-say-theyre-happy-in-their-relationships-300595502.html) report being happy with their marriages, there will undoubtedly be times you don’t feel loved at all. When that happens, take comfort in knowing that [love is more of a choice](https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-is-a-choice-more-than-a-feeling) than a feeling. To choose from the heart, read the Amazon bestseller *[Love Is a Decision](https://www.amazon.com/Love-Decision-Gary-Smalley/dp/0849942683)* by marriage counselor Gary Smalley.\n\n## 18. Let them grow\n\n“You’re not the woman I married.” Surprise—she won’t be. In fact, 90% of adults will change at *least* one major personality trait in the next few years. So, if your marriage lasts 50 years, you might end up married to a completely different person from the one you said “I do” to. The gold nugget of marriage advice here is to accept that from the start. Instead of resisting change, expect it, celebrate it, and accept it.\n\n## 19. Just show up\n\nYou don’t have to have an opinion on every issue or a solution to every problem. You don’t even need to say something every time there’s a lull in the conversation. Sometimes, just your presence can show you’re there for your partner, and that can win their goodwill. That’s a lot better than looking like you have all the answers.\n\n## 20. You can’t fix them, so don’t\n\nYour partner is going to have flaws, and some of them will be big. You can encourage and support them, but you can’t repair their damage. While this can be a hard pill to swallow, you married them, not the person they could be. You can help that medicine go down by acknowledging your own flaws and spending some time reflecting on their strengths. Accept and honor who they are, [along with your differences](https://www.stanfordcouplescounseling.com/rebuilding-emotional-safety-strengthening-your-relationship-by-accepting-your-partners-differences-part-3/).\n\nAlthough we here at Zola concentrate on wedding planning, we also realize that your celebration is a small part of your lifetime together. While you’re [choosing flowers](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/the-most-popular-wedding-flowers), arranging the [ceremony](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/a-guide-to-the-wedding-ceremony-order-of-events), and planning the [honeymoon](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/best-honeymoon-destinations), don’t forget that your wedding is the start of a lifetime together. We want to give you the best start you can have—from the planning stages of your engagement to the start of a beautiful life partnership. ","tag":"Advice","widget1":{"marketingModule":{"tag":"EA_Masterbrand"}},"nextUp":[{"excerpt":"Just engaged and wondering what’s next? 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